Could you review my essay about smoking and drugs Thanks for help

[Milaniyamiila]

Task 1: Smoking tobacco like other dangerous drugs should be made illegal. Agree or disagree? at least 250 words

I cannot totally agree with the statement that smoking must be banned. Certainly, smoking can make irreparable damage to the people's health and even can be considered as antisocial. But is not the reason why it should be deemed as dangerous as drugs. Let's consider these two unhealthy habits.
Firstly, drugs can be the one of the way of transmitting such fatal diseases as AIDS and hepatitis. Secondly, drugs make a big impact on drug takers. If a person takes drugs at this moment he cannot even understand his actions.
Thirdly, many drug takers often suffer from reproductive health problems . Unfortunately, even if they a baby is conceived that he or she is often handicapped. Fourthly, it can takes many years for drug-addicts after breaking their habit to rehabilitate themselves.
There is no doubt that smoking is harmful for the health. However, some scientists claim that smoking sometimes can relax and forget about vital problems which can cause stress-related diseases. It is widely know that stresses are also can have a fatal effect on people's health.
I firmly believe that smoking should be allowed only in certain places. Smoking in public places must be strictly prohibited in order to avoid second hand smoke. Every packet of cigarettes must have a printed warning that smoking can cause cancer and other life-threatening diseases. Advertisements of smoking must be forbidden. Public service announcement against smoking should be regular broadcasted on TV and radio.
In conclusion, smoking and drug taking can both have a negative effect on people's health. Drugs are more dangerous for society and health. Smoking is less dangerous. I believe that people should be warned about the harm od smoking but it should be forbidden like drugs.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class

[Luschen]

Hi, I think your writing was pretty good, but you need to work more on your structure and organization. Your conclusion was much easier to understand than your introduction. It wasn't exactly clear what you were arguing until the end. If you had a better structure your arguments would be more convincing.

[Milaniyamiila]

Thanks a lot for your great help