please check my essay: the use of technology

[Wal615]

Topic:
Some people believe that our ever-increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interaction.
Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another.

If the use of technology is about the application of automation, I agree that many applications of such technology do decrease our chances to communication, because they replace human beings to do work and provide server to its costumers, which lead to reduction in opportunities for our interaction. For example, with the use of the automation technology in automobile industries leads to a decrease in the number of the workers needed by a factory. Therefore, the workers hardly have a chance to find a person to talk. Besides, the use of the vending machine also reduces the chance to take with people. We needn’t to ask a tailor what we want and pay him/her the money. Standing before the vend machine, we just press a button and buy a cup of coffee without saying anything.

But if the use of technology refers to the phone and tax, I don’t agree that we connect less with one another. On the contrary, I think our interaction is improved by that application. For example, the use of the phone allows people who live in different places to talk with one another. It makes the process of communication easy, which encourage us to talk with our friends and families frequently. Therefore, we have more chances to interact with others. Say, without that technology, it may take an international student several months to get a letter from his/her home.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an American History class

[Luschen]

Hi, your writing here is good as far as it goes. But it is really not a proper essay without an introduction and conclusion. Introducing your main points in an introduction will make the essay much easier to follow.

[Wal615]

hello, Luschen. thank you for your modification and advice. I agree with you that I need to give an introduction and conclusion to complete the construction of my essay.