Please review my essay (the third one)

[m@zzi]

For this third essay, I tried to finish it in about 30 minutes.
However, after 30 minutes I missed the grammar check and the general review.
So it took about 35-37 minutes to have this version.
Next time I need to improve my timeline.


The saying: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" means to continue working toward a goal in spite of difficulties. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Even if someone would prefer to change their plans when finding some difficulties in reaching a goal, affirming that if you can not do it at the first time, then you are not suited for it, personally I do not support this thesis. One can not be frustrated by the very first difficulties, since they appear in quite all fields for everyone. So, I agree with the idea of continuing working toward a goal in spite of difficulties.

To begin with, hard work improve your skills. I am very lucky to have an example of this statement in my family. My father is a professional musician and since he was a kid his dream was to play the flute in an orchestra. Since he did not have a lot of talent, he failed to achieve his goal at the first attempts. Then, with the combination of help of a great teacher who encouraged him a lot and many study hours, he managed to accomplish his target. The long hours spent studying and playing the instrument were very important to improve his skills. This example can apply to a broad range of other experiences: if your goal is a possible one, then with hard work you can get closer and closer to it.

In addition to improving oneself skills, I think hard work is the only way you can achieve your goal. Generally there are not any other magical tricks: for example, if you want to pass a difficult exam, you have to study a lot. This do not automatically imply you will pass the exam next time, but it is the only way you can use to try it. Some people just wait without studying for the next exam session, justifying themselves for failing the first attempt with bad luck or with an extraordinary difficulty of the exam. However, this approach do not bring them anywhere: their probability of succeeding are definitely less than the one they would have if they would study hard. In my own experience, I failed some exams at the first try due to a lack of study. Then I studied a lot, I asked the professor to explain something that was unclear to me at that time and I took some advices from friends who had yet passed those exams. Magically at the second try I always passed my exams.

Finally, in combination with building your skills and the lack of any other valuable alternative, continuing to work again and again can open your mind on what you misses to reach your personal goal and help you to believe in yourself too. Sometimes just finding some difficulties in reaching a personal goal does not help you to focus on what you misses. Instead, difficulties often let you down , so that you lose any trust in yourself. However, trying again through hard work can help you both on focus on what you lack to succeed and to give you a boost for your motivations. In my own perspective, I found that starting studying immediately after an exam fail helped me a lot: I understood very soon my mistakes and I was very excited to find them by myself. This helped me very much, as I was convinced that I could pass the exam in the next session.

In considering if it is valuable to continue working hard to reach a goal, I explored issues such as the improvement of oneself skills; the lacking of any other good strategies to succeed; and the self-satisfaction and the focus on what oneself lacks continuing working hard. All these factors lead me to agree with the saying: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”.

TOEFL listening lectures: Which aspect of bee behavior does the professor mainly discuss?

[Luschen]

This reminds me of a quote "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then, if you still don't succeed, quit and try something else - no use making a fool of yourself." I think most people fail to see the value in quitting after you realize something just is not working - anyway, on with the essay: Another great job. I didn't understand that phrase in the conclusion and some assorted grammatical miscues, but I really like your organization and structure.

[m@zzi]

Luschen, you're simply great.

I'm starting to feel comfortable with my essays thanks to your feedbacks.
Besides, your corrections are very helpful.

If I continue creating essays, I'm sure I can reach my goal score of 24.

I'm quite disappointed with my speaking skills, but this is another story :-)