Please help me with my TOEFL® writing~~~~(>_<)~~~~

[Aimee The Crab]

Hi, I'm Aimee from China. I'm going to take TOEFL ibt this March. But I'm really weak in writing. So I intend to post my articles here everyday, and pleeeeeeeeease help me to find the errors in the usage of the vocabularies, sentences and so on .................. . I'll be grateful to you veeeeeeeeeeeery much.

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient while other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. For people who support the latter opinion, they firmly believe computers make people reluctant to do exercise as well as and face-to-face communication, and hence people will be in the state of subhealthy. Blamelessly, I admit that those phenomena do happened in the past few years, but I believe that the advantages computer has brought to us overweigh the disadvantages.

First of all, a computer bring us enormous amount of information, which can be divided into data and news.
For one thing , since I major in biology, I can use a computer to look up literature when writing a thesis. A computer will provide me with all the latest and complete experimental data I may need, which saves considerably amount of time for me compared with some seniors who spent the whole day in the library looking up a little date covered with a thick layer of ash many years ago. For another, I can use a computer to get access to the latest news, without which I will always wait in front of a TV until news is broadcast.

Second, I can use a computer to do a slideshow for a presentation, which shows the progress of my experiment, my thoughts and some arrangement, and I can even share some novelty with my coworkers. I can't imagine the scene that I stand in front of a group of people describe something without a slideshow, and all that l say will be "just guess the process" and "please guess the results", which seems considerably pale and unconvinced.

Finally, playing computer games is my favorite way to relax my mind. Nowadays people are under great pressure, and consequently they need a variety of entertainments. Computer games are diversity and always with high playability, in this way, I can often get a fully relaxation.

Though some people believe spending more time in front of a computer means less time to exercise and communicate face to face, there are many tips on the internet reminding people the significance of exercise. Meanwhile, on the Internet, there do have many introduction to a variety of ways to strengthen one's body. Accordingly, it can not bear closer analysis when some people criticize that a computer occupies one's time for exercising. Instead, it is one's willpower that determines. As for communication, needless to say, one can use a video camera to take place video phone calls, which is a typical "face-to-face" communication.

To conclude, I believe that computer bring us undeniably convenient such as provide us with more information and more ways to share and enjoy ourselves. Based on the arguments above, I have to agree with the statement written above, that computers have made life easier and more convenient than made life more complex and stressful.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two university professors

[Oad]

Hi, I think you did a really good job. However, I still made some change. There're some sentences not very clear to me, and maybe you should check them carefully.
I hope this can help you.

[Aimee The Crab]

I see...thank you so much for reading and modifying it!!

[Mochad]

Hi Aimee, I'm not a native English speaker, but I would like to help you as far as I can :D By the way, I took the TOEFL iBT last week :):)

[Aimee The Crab]

Thank you so much ！Wish you success!~~