| Toefl® Speaking practice 2 | Please check my essay plz! Thank you! |
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 #1 (permalink) Fri Jan 20, 2012 18:55 pm Toefl: Not everything that is learned is contained in books. |
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Undoubtedly, books are always the main sources of information, knowledge from all over the world. Especially in academic environment, people have to depend greatly on books. However, it takes a long period to publish and edit one book, and that book could possibly be outdated in any time. Furthermore, there are many other things cannot be described through words or images. As a result, I agree that books cannot include everything that we learned.
Firstly, book cannot keep up with the speedy development of the information. Especially, creating book is not an easy and rapid work that can be done in one or two days. The author has to spend several months, even years to gather and select proper news, researches, stories from significant number of sources so as to create the content. Moreover, the publisher also involves in a sequence of complicated works, includes presenting the book nicely and logically, evaluating the contents and printing out the product. Thus, after such long period of creating only one book; absolutely, there are many new things have been discovered. For example, when a book of Vietnam history was released, everybody read it know that Le Long Dinh was an extremely cruel and incestuous king. However, within the process of publishing or even right after the book was on sale, historians have found out new evidences prove that Le Long Dinh was indeed a good king with many contributions. Therefore, people is aware of the reality related to this king, which is not included in any book yet. In general, we can figure out that books are unable to provide everything for people.
Secondly, a lot of special experiences, skills, emotions, etc could not be presented thoroughly and precisely by books. There is a common proverb says that “practice makes perfect”. As a result, people have to put themselves in reality and start working so that they can receive many practical experiences, feelings and other interests, which cannot be recognized or understood clearly by reading books. For example, when I started to learn trigonometry, it is so boring and difficult to understand. However, putting myself in real exercise, I found out that trigonometry is so interesting. After then, I discovered my passion in this subject and focus on practicing it keenly. Consequently, I have gathered many new experiences and become pretty good at trigonometry, which cannot happens just by reading books.
In summation, even though books cannot inform everything to people, its advantages and importance are undeniable. In general, I still recommend everybody to combine using books and practicing in reality so as to enhance our knowledge and skills.
Please review my essay. Thanks in advance.
P/S: I still need 45 mins or even an hour to do this writing task. Can anyone help me?
TOEFL listening lectures: Which is a characteristic of realistic landscape paintings? |
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Thaiham95
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 14 Jan 2012
Posts: 14
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| #2 (permalink) Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:26 pm Re: Toefl: Not everything that is learned is contained in books. |
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Hi, you did well on this essay. I could only find some errors. I recommend you pay more attention on relative clauses (there are many other things which cannot be described...something like that).
I hope my try can help you :">
Any way, I would like to see other people's feedback on your essay.
| Thaiham95 wrote: |
Undoubtedly, books are always the main sources of information, knowledge from all over the world. Especially in academic environment [study], people have to depend greatly on books. However, [because] it takes a long period to publish and edit one book, (and that) book could possibly be outdated in[at] any time. Furthermore, there are many other things [which] cannot be described through words or images. As a result, I agree that books cannot include everything that we [need to] learn.
Firstly, book cannot keep up with the speedy development of the information. Especially, creating [writing] book is not an easy and rapid work that can be done in one or two days. The author has to spend several months, even years to gather and select proper news, researches, stories from [a] significant number of sources so as to create the content. Moreover, the publisher [is] also involve[d] in a sequence of complicated works, includes [including] presenting the book nicely and logically, evaluating the contents and printing out the product. Thus, after such [a] long period of creating only one book; absolutely, there are many new things hav[ing] been discovered. For example, when a book of Vietnam[ese] history was released, everybody read[ing] it know [knew]/[would include] that Le Long Dinh was an extremely cruel and incestuous king (maybe you should another word to describe the king instead of “incestuous”. I think “incestuous king” doesn’t make sense”). However, within the process of publishing or even right after the book was on sale [had been introduced], historians (have) found out new evidences prov[ing] that Le Long Dinh was indeed a good king with many contributions. Therefore, people is [were] aware of the reality [fact about/ truth of] related to this king, which is [was] not included in any book yet. In general, we can figure out that books are unable to provide everything for people.
Secondly, a lot of special experiences, skills, emotions, etc could not be presented thoroughly and precisely by books. There is a common proverb say[ing] that “practice makes perfect”. As a result, people have to put themselves in reality and start working so that they can receive many practical experiences, feelings and other interests, which cannot be recognized or understood clearly by reading books. For example, when I started to learn trigonometry, it is so boring and difficult to understand. However, putting myself in real exercise[s], I found out that trigonometry is so interesting. After then [that], I discovered [realized] my passion in this subject and focus on practicing it keenly. Consequently, I have gathered many new experiences and become pretty good at trigonometry, which [could not] happen (just by reading books.) if I only read books.
In [summary], even though books cannot [provide people with everything], its advantages and importance are undeniable. In general, I still recommend everybody [both read books and practice] in reality so as to enhance our knowledge and skills.
Please review my essay. Thanks in advance.
P/S: I still need 45 mins or even an hour to do this writing task. Can anyone help me?
practice makes perfect. Friend, just keep writing and shorten your writing time gradually
TOEFL listening lectures: Which is a characteristic of realistic landscape paintings? |
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 Oad
You can meet me at english-test.net
Joined: 07 Nov 2010
Posts: 80
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| #3 (permalink) Sun Jan 22, 2012 15:41 pm Re: Toefl: Not everything that is learned is contained in books. |
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Hi Thaiham, you have written a great essay. I think Oad also did a wonderful job of correcting it. But I disagreed with a few of Oad's points in the introduction, so I have given my opinion too.
| Thaiham95 wrote: |
Undoubtedly, books are always the main sources of information, knowledge from all over the world. Especially in academic environment[s ] {I think academic environments is fine here}, people have to depend greatly on books. However, it takes a long period to publish and edit one book, and that book could possibly be outdated in[at] any time{or "in no time" - which has a slightly different meaning}. {I think this sentence is fine - you can't use "because" and "and" both together in this sentence} Furthermore, there are many other things cannot be described through words or images. As a result, I agree that books cannot include everything that we [need to] learned.
Firstly, book[s ] cannot keep up with the speedy development of the information. Especially, creating{ok, but writing is better} book[s ] is not an easy and rapid work[task] that can be done in one or two days. The author has to spend several months, even years to gather and select proper news, researches{research is always singular}, [and] stories from [a] significant number of sources so as to create the content. Moreover, the publisher [is] also involve[d ] in a sequence of complicated works, includ[ing] presenting the book nicely and logically, evaluating the contents and printing out{"publishing" is a better word here - printing out implies printing it from your computer} the product. Thus, after such [a] long period of creating only one book; absolutely, there are [surely ] many new things have been discovered [in the meantime]. For example, when a book of Vietnam{Vietnamese, or better "the history of Vietnam was released"} history was released, everybody read[ing] it know[knew] that Le Long Dinh was an extremely cruel and incestuous king. However, within the process of publishing or even right after the book was on sale, historians have found out new evidences [which] prove that Le Long Dinh was indeed a good king with many contributions. Therefore, people is[were] aware of the reality related to this king, which is[was] not included in any book yet. In general, we can figure out that books are unable to provide everything for people.
Secondly, a lot of special experiences, skills, emotions, etc could[can]not be presented thoroughly and precisely by books. There is a common proverb [which] says that “practice makes perfect”. As a result, people have to put themselves in[focus on] reality and start working so that they can receive many practical experiences, feelings and other interests{"interests" doesn't really fit in with this list}, which cannot be recognized or understood clearly by reading books. For example, when I started to learn trigonometry, it is[was] so boring and difficult to understand. However, putting myself in real exercise[by doing actual exercises], I found out that trigonometry is so interesting. After then[that], I discovered my passion in this subject and focus[ed] on practicing it keenly. Consequently, I have gathered many new experiences and become pretty good at trigonometry, which cannot happens just by reading books.
In summation[summary], even though books cannot inform[teach] everything to people{or "inform people of everything"}, its[their] advantages and importance are undeniable. In general, I still recommend [that] everybody to combine using books and practicing in [real life] so as to enhance our[their] knowledge and skills.
Please review my essay. Thanks in advance.
P/S: I still need 45 mins or even an hour to do this writing task. Can anyone help me?
TOEFL listening lectures: Which is a characteristic of realistic landscape paintings? |
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Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA
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| #4 (permalink) Sun Jan 22, 2012 17:57 pm Toefl: Not everything that is learned is contained in books. |
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It seems I forgot to give some explanation of some symbols.
I use [ ] for adding words
I use ( ) for omiting words
Hi Luschen,
You are so kind to give your feedback. I did learn some more things from your correction, indeed.
Thank you again |
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Oad
You can meet me at english-test.net
Joined: 07 Nov 2010
Posts: 80
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| #5 (permalink) Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:24 am Toefl: Not everything that is learned is contained in books. |
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| Amazing!! You guys are so wonderful. Thanks |
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Thaiham95
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 14 Jan 2012
Posts: 14
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| Toefl® Speaking practice 2 | Please check my essay plz! Thank you! |
