My first essay about "to eat out or to eat at home"

[bebetxx@yahoo.com]

Good day sir,
This is my first essay for TOEFL exam. The subject is about To eat out or to eat at home. I would like to give me a score about my essay. Thank you very much!

To eat out in restaurants and in fast food stands or to eat at home depends on how much time do you want to spend to prepare your food. For example in the world there are a lot of people that they doesn't have much time, because they are busy at work and with there children, or maybe university students that they need to spend a lot of time with there courses and they don't want to lose signified time to prepare there food, and is really cheap. Both options have advantages and disadvantages.
When you are at work you can call to a restaurant to bring at your office a good meal, because maybe you were to busy with your job. Using the restaurant service, you can choose a lot of variety food, and there exists a lot of different restaurants like: Italian restaurants, chinesse restaurants, indian restaurants with there own traditional foods, and if you would like to change the food type, you just need to use other restaurant service. Another advantage to go out is that you can go with yours friends at restaurants and you can eat without spend any more time to cook. If you were with your pal at home then you have needed asking your friends if they are vegetarian of carnivorous and what type of food they would like to eat. After that you will need to go market to buy all the goods that are required to cook your friends foods. Following this you will not have time to chat with your friends and socialize. So going out to restaurants you will save a lot of time and you can spend the saved time in intellectual activities such as reading, writing or to relax. Or to go with your pal to theatre, cinemas, etc.
However, a very big disadvantage is that home prepared foods are more healthy and fat less. Cooking at home, is more fun, because you chat with your friends, can learn different culture cooking from the entire of world and they will give you a score about your food.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention the large jars?

[Luschen]

Hi, I am not a teacher, but as a native English speaker, I am happy to comment on your essay. Try to copy the entire TOEFL prompt, so we can tell if you correctly addressed the topic. In this case, the prompt asks "Which do your prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer." You did not correctly address this in your essay, instead you wrote a "compare and constrast" type of essay instead where you give both advantages and disadvantages. Your writing itself is quite good, but please split up those long, rambling sentences. Also, separate your paragraphs by idea and make sure you have a good conclusion which provides a short summary of your arguments.

[bebetxx@yahoo.com]

Thank you very much! In the next essay I will give you more details. Can you give me a score between 1 to 6

[Luschen]

[bebetxx@yahoo.com]

Luschen I want to thank you very much for all what you have done for me!