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#2 (permalink) Thu May 18, 2006 18:40 pm TOEFL essay sample: 'Should children be required with...' |
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Hi,
I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL LETTERS:
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Should children be required TO HELP with household tasks?
In today's world, most people live comfortabLY. They let/ HAVE most housework done FOR THEM. Can our society afford more peole who were never taught to cook or clean?
The latest statistics proVE: America's youth becomes/IS BECOMING fatter and fatter. Why have they never learned to eat healthy? The answer lays/LIES in their education. If a mother does not want to cook, she goes out for eating/TO EAT with her children. Restaurants with some healthy meals are much more expensive than fast food restaurants. They choose the fast food because it is always nearby, cheap and no child complains about hamburgers or frensh/FRENCH fries. Children who are not used to a cooking mother have/ARE usually overweight. They do not know how to cook vegetables or low-fat meals, because nobody taught them to do so. As they become older, they continue their customs and eat Pizza and other fatbombs.
Our society lives in fortune/COMFORT and many families can afford cleaners. Even if one of the parents does not work, it is more comfortable to pay someone for cleaning/TO CLEAN their property. Children do not know how to clean the bathroom or wash dishes. The chidren need role models and not lazy comfort.
For many young people it is usual to live at home for a long time. They are mothered and do not care about cooking or even cleaning. There is always someone who does this work for them. These children stay in 'hotel mum' as long as possible, because they do not want to stand on their own feet.
Independence is very important to see what real life looks like. Teaching children to be self-reliant is A luxury we have to afford. It is groundwork/IT IS THE BASIS for a healthy and independent life. |
This is quite good. Check on the suggestions I have made.
Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
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Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13887 Location: UK
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#3 (permalink) Thu May 18, 2006 19:07 pm TOEFL essay sample: 'Should children be required with...' |
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Thank you Alan!
Your suggestions are very helpful! I made too many STUPID mistakes... My test date is on sat20th and i hope, i'll manage it :( |
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Mahsa New Member
Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 4
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