TOEFL essay sample: 'Should children be required with...'

[Mahsa]

toefl essay

Should children be required with household tasks?

In today's world, most people live comfortable. They let most houseworks be done. Can our society afford more peole who were never taught to cook or clean?

The latest statistics proof: America's youth becomes fatter and fatter. Why have they never learned to eat healthy? The answer lays in their education. If a mother does not want to cook, she goes out for eating with her children. Restaurants with some healthy meals are much more expensive than fast food restaurants. They choose the fast food because it is always nearby, cheap and no child complains about hamburgers or frensh fries. Children who are not used to a cooking mother have usually overweight. They do not know how to cook vegetables or low-fat meals, because nobody taught them to do so. As they become older, they continue their customs and eat Pizza and other fatbombs.

Our society lives in fortune and many families can afford cleaners. Even if one part of the parents does not work, it is more comfortable to pay someone for cleaning their property. Children do not know how to clean the bathroom or wash dishes. The chidren need role models and not lazy comfort.

For many young people it is usual to live at home for a long time. They are mothered and do not care about cooking or even cleaning. There is always someone who does this work for them. These children stay in 'hotel mum' as long as possible, because they do not want to stand on their own feet.

Independence is very important to see what real life looks like. Teaching children to be self-reliant is luxury we have to afford. It is groundwork for a healthy and independent life.

[Alan]

Hi,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL LETTERS:

[Mahsa]

Thank you Alan!

Your suggestions are very helpful!
I made too many STUPID mistakes...
My test date is on sat20th and i hope, i'll manage it