Google
English-Test.net
Find penpals and make new friends today!
 
flimsy and cheap; shabby; cheap
sleazy
culpable
maudlin
dynamic
full quiz correct answer
 
Username
Password
 Remember me? 
Search   Album   FAQ   Memberlist   Profile   Private messages   Register   Log in 

check my essay please!!!!THanks a lot!!



 
TOEFL Practice tests Increase your TOEFL test score with
120 Vocabulary + 100 Grammar tests
600 TOEFL flashcards plus an ESL book
ESL Forum | Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and essay samples collection
Grade my essay!:) How do movies and television influence people's behavior? | Check my essay please Thanks a lot
listening exercisestell a friend
Message
Author
check my essay plz!!!!THanks a lot!! #1 (permalink) Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:19 am   check my essay please!!!!THanks a lot!!
 

Topic:

To be labelled a ‘Work of Art’, a painting, sculpture or other art form should display certain qualities that are unique. However, over the past century there has been a decline in the quality of prize-winning artwork and it is now possible for quite ordinary pieces of art to be labelled ‘masterpieces’ whilst true works of art pass unnoticed.

Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

A picture, sculpture or other kinds of art are used to possess some unique elements and qualities to be considered as a ‘Work of Art’. There are those who argue that nowadays in many art competitions, the winners are quite normal, whereas a substantial number of artworks are ignored. From my point of view, I strongly agree with this idea for the following reasons.

Firstly, despite claims that artists are allowed to consult with other works of art, it is a fact that there are a lot of people today copy some paintings or sculptures as their own works. For instance, a Vietnamese artist won an art contest last year by a picture which he had taken idea from another painting and drawn again reversely. As a result, his action was exposed and the prize was disprived immediately.

Secondly, though it is true that artworks are able to bring big profits to the owners, we should bear in mind that money can decline the quality of art because the artists focus excessively on earning money. A good example of this is a Vietnamese person named Van Phai, who earned a lot of money at the beginning of his career, but he concentrated too much on profits so his works’ quality fell dramatically.

Finally, the ability to create new ideas decreases more remarkably day by day because of the convenient condition. A research showed that people nowadays depend on technology a lot. This leads to a significant decline in human’s creation, so that artists are difficult to invent their own unique artworks.

To conclude, the word ‘masterpieces’ is now often belonged to normal works of art than the unique pieces. Generally, money and technology and lack of idea are the three main reasons of this problem.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an arts class (2)
Edward_Rolandohmygod
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 28 Oct 2011
Posts: 54

Here are some suggestions, hopefully I could provide some help: #2 (permalink) Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:01 pm   Here are some suggestions, hopefully I could provide some help:
 

A picture, sculpture or other kinds of art are used to possess some unique elements and qualities to be considered as a (1) ‘Work of Art’. There are those who argue that nowadays in many art competitions, the winners (2) are quite normal 3), whereas a substantial number of artworks are ignored. (4) From my point of view, I strongly agree with this idea (5) for the following reasons.
1 delete a
2 winners--works
3 normal—ordinary/undistinguished
4 Is there any links between this sentence with the topic?
5 it’s better to restate the idea
Firstly, despite claims(6) that artists are allowed to consult(7) with other works of art, it is a fact that there are a lot of people today copy(8) some paintings or sculptures as their own works. For instance, a Vietnamese artist won an art contest last year by a picture which he had taken idea from another painting and drawn again reversely(9). As a result, his action was exposed and the prize was disprived (10) immediately.
6 it is claimed
7 consult with—refer
8 lots of people plagiarize
9 by the idea that he had taken from another painting and drawn again reversely
10 deprived
Secondly, though it is true that artworks are able to bring big profits to the owners, we should bear in mind that money can decline the quality of art because (11) the artists focus excessively on earning money. A good example of this is a Vietnamese person named Van Phai, who earned a lot of money at the beginning of his career, (12) concentrated too much on profits so his works’ quality fell dramatically.
11 because—if
12 A good example is that, Van Phai, a Vietnamese person what earned a lot of money at beginning of his career, concentrated so much on profits that his works’ quality fell dramatically.

Finally, the ability to create new ideas decreases more remarkably day by day because of(13) the convenient condition. A research showed (shows) that people nowadays depend on technology a lot. This leads to a significant decline in human’s creation, so that artists are difficult to invent their own unique artworks.
(13) “because of” is too strong, “due to” should be better
To conclude, the word ‘masterpieces’ is now often belonged (14) to normal works of art than the unique pieces. Generally, money and technology and lack of idea are the three main reasons of this problem.(15)
(14) often belongs to
(15) If you could state some idea to improve the situation, the whole essay will be perfect.
Migodu
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 18 Nov 2009
Posts: 23
Location: Shenzhen

TOEFL Prep Tests — Increase your Score with 120 free TOEFL Vocabulary TestsTOEFL Study Guide Guaranteed to Raise TOEFL scores without weeks and months of studying — View the Free ReportTOEFL Test Package — Learn the most difficult TOEFL vocabulary words you need to pass the TOEFL with these vocabulary tests and this unique flash card systemHere is how you can learn English the fun way! Click to subscribe to free email English course
Display posts from previous:   
Grade my essay!:) How do movies and television influence people's behavior? | Check my essay please Thanks a lot
ESL Forum | Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and essay samples collection All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1
Latest topics on TOEFL Test Forums
Can someone rate my writing? I'm trying to TOEFL® test.what is best for practice?Please check my TOEFL®® essay please! Thank you!Hello! Can someone correct my essay?please check my essayCheck my essay please,i prepare the TOEFL® test for may,5 Thanks a lotToefl® Speaking Practice 4-Useful Study Aid.I am new here. Please, check my essay!:) ...and write possible grade:)looking forward to hearing your opinion about this independent writing samplePlease, grade my integrated Essay!Please check my essay,Thank you very much!Simulation from the official guide. Both writing essays.Toefl® Speaking Practice 3- please check accent.

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Subscribe to FREE email English course
First name E-mail