Please correct my essay.Many thanks

[Huonghoang]

Topic: It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become and good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Answer: It is the fact that some people have natural aptitudes for sport or music. However it can be argued that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. In my point of view, only those who are born with certain talents and well-trained will probably become good sport players or musicians.
There is no doubt that children who are adequately trained can reach different skills that associated with sports or music. For instance, a very well-known tennis player, Rafael Nadal who is a right handed person was taught to hold a racket with the left hand when he was a little boy. Through many years practicing, he now can use the left hand as well as the right one. It is clear that the idiom:” practice makes perfect “is right in this case.
On the other hand, some people have in-born characteristics like Mozart, one of the most genius composers ever on the world. It is partly because he inherited the talent via genes. Mozart’s father who was a musician was his very first teacher during his childhood.
In my opinion, the children who have innate abilities are different from those who can play sports or instruments by training well. In another word, there are some extra talents that cannot be taught at schools. No matter how good teachers are and how hard-working children practice, they can play instruments well but they cannot compose a great song if they do not have their own intrinsic property. However, the child who has latent talents would not be came good sports players or musicians if he is not well-trained and guided practice.
In conclusion, I agree that any child can play sports or instruments well if they are adequately trained. However, they still need natural aptitudes to be professional in areas such as sport and music.

TOEFL listening lectures: An organism that generates internal heat is called what?

[Migodu]

Great essay, quite clear structure, with quite advanced vocabularies.

Here I get some suggestions, hope that are useful

In the world,
In other words

For the paragraph, on the other hand..., the sample is quite vague to support argue point, Mozart is famous because his father is a musician, or his farher was his teacher when he was a kid?

[Huonghoang]

Hi Migodu, Thanks for reading my essay. About my argue point you mentioned, i meant Mozart inherrted his father talent. His father was a musician and also wa his first teacher :-p. But i guess the sentence was a little bit .... :">