would someone please revise my essay please?tnx

[Faranak777]

1-Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habit. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer? Why?

People based on their style choose different ways of living. Some people spend all of their life finding new things for new experiences. They are risky people. In contrast, some other people live in a direct line and they do not like to change their way of living. In this essay I am going to compare these views.

First, some people believe that life should be full of new experiences. Most of these people are very happy and energetic, so that they love doing things that make them amused, for example paragliding, bungee jumping and diving. Moreover, risky people want to enjoy of their life by experimenting wonders of life; for instance, they can understand many great thing by traveling around the world and seeing different country and knowing about their cultures or traditions. Also, lives of this kind of people who enjoy living by experimenting new thing, is full of ups and downs; But, they are mostly, great people with great mind because they did things that other people never experiment. You will never be bored when you spend time with these people, because they always have something amusing to say.

In contrast, there are some people who do not like changes in their style of living. These people afraid of changes in their life; For example, they will not change their home because they are adopted to their place and they afraid of seeing new people and having new experiences. In addition, this kind of people who choose straight line for their lives, they will never get promotion in their jobs because they are fearful for being in new situations. Also, people who like their live to remain the same never will gain true triumph because victory will earn just by experimenting new things. These people afraid of failing while the only way of being successful in life is failing, and learning more and more from that failing will make them strong.

I believe that life is full of mystery and we cannot see beautiful aspect of life if we limite ourselves in life. I love doing new things and experimenting great thing that maybe just some specific people can do them, like travelling to moon. So, I agree with those who live as they will never born again.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention the weather at the beginning of his lecture?

[Luschen]

Hi, I thought this was a very good essay. Look up the difference between the verbs "to experience" and "to experiment". I think you meant experience mostly, but in a few places experiment would also work. See the rest of my comments below.

[Faranak777]

thank u very much...it means alot to me becaus i realy wanted to know my mistakes tnx:)

[Mofan522]

hi !i love your essay , especially the phrase : lives of this kind of people are full of ups and downs. i have a question about your expression : 'risky person'. risky person is someone who like to take the risk or someone dangerous or not sure ? I am just curious about that: i think your expression is right , because Luschen had said nothing on it .

[Luschen]

[Faranak777]

you are right,...thank you both...i just translated it from my native language, this is a big problem of me, i should work on it! :( thanks for mentioning