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#2 (permalink) Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:00 am LCCI EfB, preliminary level, task 1 |
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o: Miss Julie Kline from: Carla Brooks subject: Important recall! date: Tuesday, 5 February
Sophia Provic from the Paramount Insurance Company was here today. Sophia had no an appointment. She said, the Finance Diector will want to see her and it is very important that she speak to him now. She was very angry, that it was not possible. Please make an appointment and make a call no later than two o`clock. The number from Sophia Provic is 0788733149. She must see him necessarily today. |
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Katjakb I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 12 Jan 2012 Posts: 20
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#3 (permalink) Wed Feb 01, 2012 13:45 pm LCCI EfB, preliminary level, task 1 |
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Hi, please see my suggestions below.
| Katjakb wrote: |
[t]o: Miss Julie Kline from: Carla Brooks subject: Important recall! {A recall is when a faulty product has been sold and must be "recalled" or gathered back in by the manufacturer.} date: Tuesday, 5 February
{Is there a standard memo heading format for this course? I would always use upper case for To, From, Subject, and Date.}
Sophia Provic from the Paramount Insurance Company was here today. Sophia had no an appointment. She said [that] the Finance Diector[Director] will want[had wanted]{I think simple past tense would also work here} to see her and it is[was] very important that she speak to him now[immediately]{now is ok, but since you are talking about the past, immediately is less confusing}. She was very angry,{no comma} that it was not possible. Please make an appointment and make a call{"Please call her to make an appointment no later... " sounds clearer to me} no later than two o`clock. The number from Sophia Provic{"Sophia Provic's number is ..."} is 0788733149. She must see him{shouldn't this be "you"?} necessarily today.{"She said it was necessary to see you today" or "It is necessary for her to see you today."} |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 2135 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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#4 (permalink) Wed Feb 01, 2012 19:32 pm LCCI EfB, preliminary level, task 1 |
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| Thank you! |
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Katjakb I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 12 Jan 2012 Posts: 20
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#5 (permalink) Wed Feb 01, 2012 19:56 pm LCCI EfB, preliminary level, task 1 |
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Here is a sample answer by LCCI:
MEMO To: Miss Julie Kline From: Carla Brooks Date: Today’s Date Subject: URGENT – Paramount Insurance Mrs Sophie Provic of Paramount Insurance came to reception at lunchtime. She wanted to speak to the Finance Director immediately. She said it was very important. As you know visitors must have an appointment to see a Director and she did not have one. She says she must see the FD today – it is very important! Please can you telephone her to make an appointment to see the FD this afternoon. Her mobile number is 0788 733149 - Please ring her before 2pm! Thank you. CB
TOEIC listening, photographs: A family with luggage |
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Torsten Learning Coach

Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 15008 Location: EU
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#6 (permalink) Wed Feb 01, 2012 20:07 pm LCCI EfB, preliminary level, task 1 |
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This sample answer is confusing to me because Carla is using both the second and third person when talking about the same person - Julie is the FD, right?. Am I missing something here?
*** edited *** OK, I realize my mistake now. I thought the list was of the officials, but it is of the officials' secretaries. Katja, I am sorry I misled you on your last sentence. |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 2135 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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#7 (permalink) Wed Feb 01, 2012 22:51 pm LCCI EfB, preliminary level, task 1 |
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Hello Luschen,
no Problem. I'am glad that you always help me. I make mistakes very often :-(... and you have a lot work with me.
Katja |
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Katjakb I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 12 Jan 2012 Posts: 20
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| Where are you coming from? | A quick idea about the paragraph |