it is my first essay. could anyone revize it pleaseee?

[Bienvenue]

Would you prefer to live in one place for most of your life or move to different places?

I prefer to move to different places for most of my life on account of several prominent reasons, including meeting new enviorenments, discovering different cultures, and especially making a lot of private friends, I am going to reveal below.
Firstly, with the way of moving to different places in order to work, or travel, you will firmly meet new, interesting, and different environments, and cities that you will be affected by them throughout the World. Because of your constant movements, you will maintain your life in these different surroundings and that is going to affect both your life and lives of persons of your family mostly positively. For instance, your movement to new place will show you intereseting, or unmeaningfull behaviors belonging to the native people.
Secondly, you will get new great jobs with the help of moving different places. Nowadays, it is a way of life for many people, whose capabilities are not adequate to find a good business in their native country, or whose job requires that they have to work in different zones of the World, by moving to new places. Hence, they can find a good job, or do their job in the different places. For example, I met an alumni who wants to move out of the counrty so as to work and get a good salary, and also improve his personal features with the way of movinf different places.
Consequently, moving to a different places makes you have a lot of new friends from all diffrent places of the World. İt is actually vital point for people having a good relationship with lot of business men, because this relationship is a bridge between people movig ato new places arround the World and their fellows by encountering a communication amidst cultures. For instance, when ı was a student at university, I was accepted by the commission for taking some classes out of the country with Erasmus System . I was sent to diffrent unicersity and as far as I am concerned I met a lot of new fellows from many different countries during the process. That is why it is absolutely the best way to make friends.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university adviser and a student

[Luschen]

Hi, your essay structure is pretty good. You don't have that many grammatical errors, but often you use a very complicated structure to say a simple thing, so it doesn't sound that smooth or natural. Try breaking up your long sentences into 2 or 3 shorter ones. There also seemed to be a lot of repetition. Also, there were a lot of misspelled words, which was very distracting.

[Bienvenue]

thank you for revising my essay. in fact, i wrote it quickly and that is why I did many misspelled errors... thanks again