#3 (permalink) Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:09 am Re: I need your help for revising my essay.......! |
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Hi, I don't think you copied the essay prompt correctly. I have no idea what a "traditional school" is. i would say most colleges are traditional. Maybe it means private vs public college, which I what I think you are addressing, but that does not sound right to me. Hopefully my comments below will still be helpful.
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are[Do] you agree or disagree that studying at a college provides many[more] opportunities for students than studyng{sp} at a traditional school? {why errors in the prompt? Did you cut and paste? What is the difference between a college and a "traditional school"?} I am agree that studying at a private college provides many previleges for pupils than studying at a traditional school on account of many reasons . I am going to explain three prominent reasons below, including teaching methods of the private college, conditions the private college supplies for students, and wonderful guidance services. {once again, add a few sentences to ease the reader into your essay - "In our modern society, getting a good education has become critical. Some students prefer to go to college, while others believe a traditional school is better." - something like that} Firstly, students have[gain] many previleges{sp} by studying at a private college thanks to many[outstanding] conditions are provided for students by the private college. During the[ir] stud[ies], many students benefit a lot of [from the many] activities, various games, interesting researching actions, etc. [and so on] done at the private college. With the help of these activities, they can learn efficently{sp} and also easily. For example, when I studied at university I had a mission, given by professor as a [mid-term] researching midd-term work,[project] at the private college as regard[ing] whether activities done at the college help them[students] learn attractively[effectively] or not. I absolutely observed that they{state what "they" is} are the best ways to accelerate the learning. Secondly, the private college uses many different methods than the conventional school within the class. Teaching ways[methods] of the private school are very technological and usefull[based on technology and very useful]. They are impressively innovative , and appripriorate{sp} to the requirements of the [students'] age{or by age do you mean "modern society"}. The ways[methods] the private college use are not only [for] reaching to the results, but also avaluating{sp} the process. For instance, todays students who attents[attend] the private college are more innovative than their peers studying at a conventional school in order to[in] attain[ning] the knowledge. Finally, the private school provides wonderful guidance services for students by keeping them under observation during their studying at the collge{sp}. İf a student have a matter[problem], org et in trouble in and out of the college, teachers supplying guidance services can help them rapidly and teach them that how to deal with the problem within[or] the incident. As an example, if a student takes part in an incident, which is not legally true[an illegal activity], his guide can tell her/him properly that it is not good thing for a student .
{add a conclusion to sum up your arguments}
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation in a professor's office between a professor and a student |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 2135 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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