Please check my essay. Thank you so much!

[Hiengiang]

Topic: A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure [roads, water supplies, etc.] All other services [education, healthcare, social security] should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community

It is a fact that no one can deny the specially important part that government plays in the society. However, there has been a growing concern that government’s role should be restricted to providing defence’s capability and urban infrastructure like roads or water supplies and therefore, the responsibility of supplying other services such as education, healthcare and social security may be given to private groups or individuals. From my point of view, this rewarding mission is supposed to be shared by both state and private organizations.
First, it is clear that the government will have both advantages and disadvantages when they decide to take this responsibility. Within their power, they can assure equal rights. For example, all children have an equal opportunity to study basic academic subjects and achieve required qualifications for a future job. They will be the sponsor of brilliant but poor children whose parents can’t afford their schooling fee and turn their dream into reality. As a coin with two faces, obstacles may occur to the government on their way of carrying out the project as they can’t guarantee the best quality of all services due to the excessive need or insufficient funding.
Second, while private organizations or individuals can overcome obstacles that the government faces, they may not still be the suitable one to take care of these services. On the other hand, they can raise enough fund to construct multifunctional and recruit high quality staff. On the other hand, because of their main goal is to make money and gain benefits, like any other businesses, their “aimed customers” will be rich people who have the financial power to cover the high costs. As a result, if they are given the responsibility of providing the services, a large body of people will be unable to enjoy the services which are supposedly to be available for all walks of life.
Third, if the state and private groups as well can combine force and work together, they can bring the most favorable outcome. This innovative model have been well applied in many countries all over the world. For example, in Vietnam, an open policy which allows both government and private groups to take this responsibility and each kind will serve a certain purpose has been introduced. Nowadays, the fact that many state and private schools or hospitals along with special security like private body guards have been founded is an evident of the effectiveness of the policy.
To sum up, supplying certain kinds of services like education, healthcare and social security is such a hard work that it should be implemented by both state and private organizations. In my belief, in the near future, with the advance of technology, their combined effort can bring out a more satisfactory outcome and improve people’s life quality.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the professor?