 #2 (permalink) Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:51 am Re: Please check my essay that is about pets should be treated like a family memb |
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Pets should be treated like a family members. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Living with pets can be a good idea. If people have responsibility about{"for" is a better preposition here} [their] pets, they can live with them. In fact, these pets can be part of the family. Therefore people are treat[ing] them like family members. I agree that pets should be treated like family members.{this sounds repetitive} Because they have emotion like humans such as feeling something. {not a complete sentence} Also they are obedient and sometimes people do not find a friend around them so they can get rid of their lonely with their pets. {this sounds quite awkward}
{maybe "I agree that pets should be treated like family members because pets have feelings and emotions, they are obedient, and they can relieve their owners' loneliness"}
First of all, all pets have emotions like humans. They can feel lot[s ] of things. For instance, dogs are very sensational{sensational is the wrong word, I think you mean "sensitive"} pets. When people are angry, they can feel that and they want to do something for {"to help" sounds better} their owner. Also people usually take["bought" or better, "adopted" - I think you meant "took on", but that doesn't sound right here] their pets when they were very young. Therefore pets suppose that their owners are their parents. They always follow them like a baby[babies]. When they do not see their owners, they are anxious.{comma} Because their owners are their family. For these reason pets should be treated like a family members.
Moreover pets are very obedient. They always obey their owners because they assume that their owner are their parents. They act like a family member and sometimes they anticipate love like little babies. For this reason people show their love to them. {maybe add how pets can perform simple tasks or do tricks just like children do to entertain or help the family}
Last but not least some times people feel alone. they{cap} can't find a friend for talking [about] something. But pets can [provide] help for them [just] like a family member. Some people do not have family and friends. Life is very difficult like[for] these people because they can't share their emotions and ideas. In this situation, pets [can be a] help to them. People can share something to[with their] pets and pets can [provide] help to people for living. So pets should be treated like family members.
Pets can be important people's life. In my opinion people should treated them like family members.{no period} Because they have emotion like humans[,] and they obey to their owner like children also[and] they help people when people feel alone.
TOEFL listening discussions: How many chemicals are required for the girl's experiment? |
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 Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA
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