 #2 (permalink) Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:03 am Re: Are parents best teachers? (please correct my essay) Thank you |
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Hi Scientist_A, I'm not a native English speaker nor an English teacher! But I'll do my best commenting on your essay :)
| Scientist_A wrote: |
Are parents best teachers?
Parents play a great role in the lives of their children. Children learn many things from their parents. Are parents best teacher? The answer of this question varies from person to person. I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons {it is preferable to state the reasons in your thesis statement, but in general this is an excellent introduction}.
First of all, I would like to emphasize that when a child {I guess it should be: is} born he/she firstly see his/her parent. For several years he/she lives {wouldn't it better if you said: During his/her early childhood, the kid lives} under their {his/her} parent’s protection {and interacts with them most of the time. I felt something is missing so I added the last phrase}. So, the first teacher of every child is his/her parent {This is more like a conclusion :) I think you should move this sentence to the end of this paragraph}. Before going to school children learn many things. They learn all these things by their parents {the previous two sentences are repetition! Try to combine them, or better, omit the last one. What about saying: Children learn from their parents many things in different fields before they even go to school}. For example{,} children can speak in their own language when they go to school. They do not see any teacher when they learn speaking. This means that their teachers are their parents {I prefer to omit this sentence and continue with your examples}. Moreover, they learn many other vital characteristics {and skills} {. capital}for instance, they know that they should feel {do you mean show?} respect to their teacher{s} and listen {to} their advice, behave friendly with their peers and etc. when they go to school {you don't this phrase}.
Moreover, I would like to highlight that children learn the essential lessons for life from their parents. Parents are not supposed to teach the subject for example, math, chemistry, physics and etc. to their children. They teach their children how they should behave in a certain situation and how to solve life problems {I think this should be stated in the previous paragraph}. Mostly, children tend to imitate the actions of their parents. In this way they learn many things from their parents {repetition}. That is why I believe that parents should not only give advice to their children but also they should demonstrate that they also do these beneficial activities. Thus; I believe that actions speak louder than word. For example, if a man smokes regularly, I believe {repetition} that his child also will smoke, because he will see his father while smoking and thing that it is good activity.
To sum up, I would like to underline that people always have many things to learn from their parents. In every ages and situations human needs to get advice from someone. And in this case they appeal their parents and tend to use their experience of ages. I believe that children should appreciate this opportunity well and should ask many questions about their parent’s experience. Experience is the best education someone has.
{Your essay was great :) Had a nice time reading it :D Devoting the first body paragraph for speaking about the parents role as teachers from the time the kid is born until he enters school is a wonderful idea, but I wished you continued with the same style! That is to state it clearly in the second paragraph that you're demonstrating the role of parents in the following stages (e.g., adolescence or even maturity) in this way your body paragraphs will look like a timeline -each paragraph represents a stage- that reveals the major role parents play in their children's lives in each stage :)}
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 Mochad
You can meet me at english-test.net
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 99
Location: Lebanon
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