 #2 (permalink) Mon Feb 06, 2012 17:53 pm Re: please check my essay.thank you |
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Hi, nice essay. Please see my suggestions below.
| Krexma wrote: |
What public figure, living or dead, do you admire most? Why?
There is no doubt that people usually admire some popular person because it is in human nature. There are many famous people who have great {"who have had a great" sounds better to me} impact on regular peoples’ lives. However, I choose to write about a famous Russian singer Alla Pugacheva because she has [a] charismatic personality that cause[d ] {or "has caused" if she is still popular} her to be the most popular singer for many years. Alla Pugacheva started her career in [the] sixties and continues to these days. She became very famous in [the] former Soviet Union and receives iconic status because of [her] beautiful voice and ability to display sincere emotions. Personally, I admire her personality as the[a] successful woman for many reasons.
First, she has a very strong character which allows {"allowed" would be better} her to reach the top of popularity though [the] fashion[s in] for music has[have] changed. Moreover, she is an etalon{do you mean "icon"?} of woman’s beauty for me. Nevertheless,[Despite the fact that] these days people['s ] preferences for songs have enormous changed [enormously] from the past, Pugacheva is also[as] popular as she was many years ago when I was in kindergarten because of [her] charismatic personality which attracts people to her performances.
Second, the words of songs[lyrics] in combination with [her] clear mezzosoprano [voice] have created the amazing songs which continue to take people‘s hearts. Additionally, Pugacheva sang songs in many famous Russian movies and the phrases from these songs have become widely used in every day life. Sometimes, when I want to improve my mood, I listen to my favorite song of Alla Pugacheva and it is really give me good mood {"really puts me in a good mood"} and power do[helps me to] not give up when I face problems.
Third, Alla Pugacheva influences on the content of music programs and shows [that] are broadcasted on mass media. In addition, she helps to young talented people to develop their natural abilities to sing and to find their way to popularity.
To sum up, the famous Russian singer Alla Pugacheva is the most beloved public person for me because of her amazing voice and abilities to create live{what do you mean by "live" here} feeling and emotions.
TOEFL listening discussions: Where does this conversation most likely take place? |
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 Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA
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