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correspondence, please comment



 
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ESL Forum | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
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correspondence, please comment #1 (permalink) Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:24 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Our company offers trial software to potential prospects, underneath was inquiry from one of them.

"Dear Arthur

To enjoy the Professional Edition * 32 licenses at free of charge . What is the term and condition for us.---Felix"

My reply as following:
Dear Felix

Just let us know what the application is after they are installed, prefer with pictures attached.
However, we are not liable to provide technical support for such free-of-charge application.
In this case, you need to devote time to study our system, and learn what capability it is.
This should simulate the interest for promoting our products through your channel.
Please let us know once you decide to take these 32-channel at free of charge.

best regards,

Arthur
Arthur Yg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 06 Feb 2012
Posts: 28
Location: Taiwan, R.O.C

correspondence, please comment #2 (permalink) Mon Feb 06, 2012 17:33 pm   correspondence, please comment
 

What do you mean by 'prefer with pictures attached'?
Do you mean they should install the program then take some screenshots of it and e-mail them to you?

32 licenses and 32-channel does not mean the same to me. Can you please provide more of an explanation?
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correspondence, please comment #3 (permalink) Tue Feb 07, 2012 2:42 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Our product is a kind of IP Surveillance Software, therefore, to get pictures to show public where they were deployed (such as in the airports, department stores...etc) would be very helpful to convince potential prospects that our product is reliable and being used on different sites.

Every camera needs a licence. Thus I replaced 32 licenses with 32-channel.
Arthur Yg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 06 Feb 2012
Posts: 28
Location: Taiwan, R.O.C

correspondence, please comment #4 (permalink) Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:00 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Dear Felix,

Just let us know what the application is after it has been installed, preferably with photographs attached.
However, we are not liable to provide technical support for such a free-of-charge application. In this case, you need to devote time to study our system, and learn its capabilities.
This should simulate the interest for promoting our products through your channel.
Please let us know should you decide to take these 32-channels free of charge.

Best regards,
Arthur.

I don't understand your use of the underlined phrase.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!
Beeesneees
Language Coach


Joined: 08 Apr 2010
Posts: 20465
Location: UK, born and bred

correspondence, please comment #5 (permalink) Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:22 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Hi there

"simulate the interest" the intention was to convey the thought:

You will appreciate our software and will be interested to resell it through you existing channel(s) after getting familiar with its functions.
Arthur Yg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 06 Feb 2012
Posts: 28
Location: Taiwan, R.O.C

correspondence, please comment #6 (permalink) Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:30 am   correspondence, please comment
 

I think Arthur meant "stimulate interest".
Luschen
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Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA

correspondence, please comment #7 (permalink) Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:40 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Yes, Luschen
Arthur Yg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 06 Feb 2012
Posts: 28
Location: Taiwan, R.O.C

correspondence, please comment #8 (permalink) Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:14 am   correspondence, please comment
 

I had a feeling that was the case, but even so I'd like to know whose interest is to be stimulated? Is the person who has to study the system and learn its capabilities the person who should become more interested, or does it refer to a third party?
_________________
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Beeesneees
Language Coach


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Posts: 20465
Location: UK, born and bred

correspondence, please comment #9 (permalink) Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:24 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Hi
Quote:
This should simulate the interest for promoting our products through your channel.

Will it be more explicit to be replaced with:
This should whet your appetite to sell our product through your channel.

Further, which is more appropriate? your channel or your channels?

best regards,
Arthur Yg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 06 Feb 2012
Posts: 28
Location: Taiwan, R.O.C

correspondence, please comment #10 (permalink) Thu Feb 09, 2012 0:40 am   correspondence, please comment
 

That sounds clearer, but if you want to use the original, I suggest:
This should stimulate you interest in promoting our products through your channel(s).

It's not possible to say from the information provided whether the plural or sngular form of 'channel' is best. It depends on the reseller's setup.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!
Beeesneees
Language Coach


Joined: 08 Apr 2010
Posts: 20465
Location: UK, born and bred

correspondence, please comment #11 (permalink) Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:29 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Quote:
This should stimulate you interest in promoting our products through your channel(s).

What's the form of "interest in " here? Phrasal verb? Because there is neither a definite article nor a possessive determiner in front of it.
Can this sentence be replaced with either of them?
1. This should stimulate your interest in promoting our products through your channel(s).
2. This should interest you in promoting our products through your channel(s).

regards,
Arthur Yg
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 06 Feb 2012
Posts: 28
Location: Taiwan, R.O.C

correspondence, please comment #12 (permalink) Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:41 am   correspondence, please comment
 

I'll go out on a limb here and say I'm sure Beeesneees meant to type "your".
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA

correspondence, please comment #13 (permalink) Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:58 am   correspondence, please comment
 

Thanks Luschen, yes.
_________________
Cheers m' dears!
Beeesneees
Language Coach


Joined: 08 Apr 2010
Posts: 20465
Location: UK, born and bred

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