 #2 (permalink) Mon Feb 06, 2012 15:49 pm Re: Please check my essay please!!!!!! Thank you!! |
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| Edward_Rolandohmygod wrote: |
Topic:
Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money.
What are your opinions on this?
Nowadays credit cards or loans are used as a way for a lot of people to run up enormous private debts that they cannot afford. There are those who argue that individuals should be restricted from borrowing substantial amounts of money. In this essay, I shall give two reasons why this idea is totally true and show one solution to make it more difficult to take a loan.
Firstly, despite claims that governments need to give chances for people to do their own business by lending them money, it is a fact that the government budget will see a dramatic reduction when investing excessively. For instance, if the authorities do not limit the amounts of money they lend, more and more individuals will capitalise on that to run up their huge debts. Consequently, the budget will fall sharply and it will cause a negative effect on the economy of the country.
Furthermore, though it is true that poor people should be supported by the government to increase living standards, we should bear in mind that the poor are usually unable to repay their debts and some problems could occur. A good example of this is from a recent story in a newspaper about a Vietnamese person named Nguyen Vu Bao, who borrowed a big amount of money from a state bank and could not afford it. As a result, he stole money from a family and killed three other people, so he was given the death penalty two years ago.
An effective method is for the government to push the deadline of repaying earlier to limit the number of people being loaned money. For example, in the past, the authorities decided that people had to repay their debts 100% after three years, but now the deadline should decrease to one year. This would result in the government budget always being secure because the number of people who run up their debts will fall markedly.
To conclude, in my opinion, the government should limit the amounts of money which they lend because of several problems that are relevant to country’s economies and social problems, especially crime. A good solution is for the authorities to reduce the deadline in order to make the number of individuals borrowing money decline.
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You say either:
'sentenced to death' or
'given the death penalty'
It looks odd if you just mention someone's name as you did in that example as no one will no who he is (unless they are from Vietnam). You could have just made it up. So its better to say where the story came from.
Also, I don't think you have answered the question, or at least not my understanding of it from a Western perspective. I think they are referring to borrowing from private banks as from the countries I have lived in you can't borrow from the government.
But this seems to be what you are discussing in your first two body paragraphs?
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