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Please check my essay and rate it. Thank you beforehand!



 
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please rate my essay. I really appreciate your comments. | Please , would you pls check my independent writing ...
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Please check my essay and rate it. Thank you beforehand! #1 (permalink) Thu Mar 01, 2012 17:35 pm   Please check my essay and rate it. Thank you beforehand!
 

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

If in the past, it took a lot of time to prepare food. Today it become easier and easier. But some people deem that it is bad to prepare food in a short period of time. Of course there are advantages and disadvantages. I think it is good to prepare light foods. My arguments for this point are listed as the following.

First, many years ago, especially women spent a lot of time in the kitchen to prepare food. For example, in our cuisine there are not a meal which is preparing in a short time. So my mom spend much time for cooking. If she is not, she could learn new skills. In addition, because of house work she does not work much time as she wants.

Second, nowadays technology has improved greatly and if you do not want to waste time, you can buy frozen foods, just put it in a microwave and in a few minutes it is ready.

There are disadvantages also to eat fast food such as burger, pizza. Some people says that easier preparing food is unhealthy. But as far as I am concerned you can find meals which do not take so much time and in the same time not unhealthy. For example, you can put different vegetables in a mixer and prepare salad.

In a nutshell, I agree that nowadays, food become easier to prepare and prefer to eat them. I think we have to evaluate our time.

TOEFL listening lectures: What is one way that Internet Addiction Disorder affects sleep?
Aysel36
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 13 Jan 2012
Posts: 23
Location: Baku, Azerbaijan

Re: Please check my essay and rate it. Thank you beforehand! #2 (permalink) Fri Mar 02, 2012 5:26 am   Re: Please check my essay and rate it. Thank you beforehand!
 

Hi, your writing is ok, but your vocabulary is pretty basic. I don't thing your reasons were very convincing. You need more details and more examples. I would not mention the disadvantages and only focus on supporting your argument. I would rate this essay a 3 out of 5.

Aysel36 wrote:
Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

If in the past, it took a lot of time to prepare food. Today it become easier and easier. But some people deem that it is bad to prepare food in a short period of time. Of course there are advantages and disadvantages. I think it is good to prepare light {light means low calorie} foods. My arguments for this point are listed as the following. {instead of this sentence, give a brief summary of your reasons}

First, many years ago, especially women [especially] spent a lot of time in the kitchen to prepare food. For example, in our cuisine there are[is] not a meal which is [able to be] prepar[ed] in a short time. So my mom spend[s ] much time for cooking. If she is not[did not have to], she could learn new skills. In addition, because of house work{one word} she does not work much time as she wants. {do you mean she has another job outside of the home? This is unclear}

Second, nowadays technology has improved greatly and if you do not want to waste time, you can buy frozen foods, {new sentence} just put it in a microwave and in a few minutes it is ready.

There are disadvantages also to eat[ing] fast food such as burger[s and] pizza. Some people says that easi[ly] prepar[ed] food is unhealthy. But as far as I am concerned you can find meals which do not take so much time and in[at] the same time [are] not unhealthy. For example, you can put different vegetables in a mixer and prepare [a] salad.

In a nutshell, I agree that nowadays, food [has] become easier to prepare and [I] prefer to eat them. I think we have to evaluate our time [and choose what foods will help us optimize it].

TOEFL listening lectures: What is one way that Internet Addiction Disorder affects sleep?
Luschen
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Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 6960
Location: Nashville TN, USA

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