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act of rejoicing; joy; gaiety; glee
accord
approbation
simper
exultation
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please check and grade my essay--- self done is well done...



 
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kindly check and grade the essay... hope is the buoy of life... | please check my essay and rate it.I will appreciate your help!
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please check and grade my essay--- self done is well done... #1 (permalink) Sat Mar 03, 2012 19:22 pm   please check and grade my essay--- self done is well done...
 

Perfection is only bestowed to those who cultivate the habit of self reliance. It is a famous saying that “God help those who help themselves”. Self reliant person never feels remorse over self dependency. A bird always trusts none but his own wings because he knows that his wings will never betray him.

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
“Mark Twain”

Excellence is only achieved through experience and experienced are those who are self dependents. There is a famous saying that,

“The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.”

Those who rely upon others actually are the losers who try to find shortcut in their lives. Those have to regret in their lives, because they gained nothing by relying over others. Reliance over others makes a person realize guilt and makes accustomed of relying over others. And in result they cannot do their own work by their own.

Self reliant person is always confident, and proud of himself. A worrier always trusts his own sword. History keeps the records of those who were self reliant in their field. Many of the scientists which are still known for their inventions were self reliant. A child, who learns to walk, falls down many times, but the time comes where that child stand over his own foots. Self reliance is the inspiration to the learners. It is only the name of prestige. A student, who depends on others for accomplishing his task, never indulges at the time of receiving marks as compare to that student who is self reliant.

The best course to start work is own capacity. Self reliance always brings cheers over the faces of self dependent. Regression is the destiny of relying over others.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a dorm mother and a resident
Ken99m
New Member


Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Posts: 3

Re: please check and grade my essay--- self done is well done... #2 (permalink) Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:19 am   Re: please check and grade my essay--- self done is well done...
 

Hi, your writing is pretty good and there were not that many grammatical mistakes. But this is not really an essay. It reads like a list of sayings and proverbs on the importance of self-reliance. You don't really give any arguments, just unsubstantiated statements. I could not see much structure at all. I would rate this essay a 2 out of 5.

Ken99m wrote:
Perfection is only bestowed to those who cultivate the habit of self reliance. It[There] is a famous saying that “God help[s ] those who help themselves”. [A] Self reliant person never feels remorse over [his] self dependency. A bird always trusts none but his own wings because he knows that his wings will never betray him.

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
“Mark Twain” {this should be better integrated into your essay and I am not sure it really applies to your topic}

Excellence is only achieved through experience and [the] experienced are those who are self dependents. There is a famous saying that,

“The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.”

Those who rely upon others actually are the losers who try to find shortcut[s ] in their lives. Those have to regret[s ] in their lives, because they gained nothing by relying over[on] others. Reliance over[on] others makes a person realize guilt and makes [them] accustomed of relying over others. And in result they cannot do their own work by[on] their own.

[A] Self reliant person is always confident,{no comma} and proud of himself. A worrier always trusts his own sword. History keeps the records of those who were self reliant in their field. Many of the scientists which are still known for their inventions were self reliant. A child, who learns to walk, falls down many times, but the time comes where that child stand[s ] over his own foots[feet]. Self reliance is the inspiration to the learners. It is only the name of prestige. A student, who depends on others for accomplishing his task, never indulges at the time of receiving marks as compare to that student who is self reliant.{this sentence is unclear}

The best course to start work is [your] own capacity. Self reliance always brings cheers over the faces of self dependent. Regression is the destiny of relying over[on] others.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a dorm mother and a resident
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 7030
Location: Nashville TN, USA

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