TOEFL® essay sample: Which do you feel is more important...

[France]

TOEFL essay sample

Which do you feel is more important in your life: security or freedom and independence? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Security, Freedom and Independence are both important aspects in our lives. In my opinion these three things are interrelated. However, on top of my personal needs, security posts the utmost significance in my life.

There are several reasons in which I contended that security comes in first as an important need in my life. As it defines, it is the condition wherein one is being protected from the danger and loss. This is one of the reasons I want security because I want that, in any circumstances, I would feel safe and secured anywhere I want to go. At a glance of one of the breaking news recently, I heard that a 5-year old boy had left unattended by a mother playing in the park. As soon as the mother checked for her son, the boy found hit by a side truck. The boy didn't get the chance to survive. If the mother could have just stay put and watch her son, this situation could be avoided as the kid would be able to get free to play safely even in the unexpected scenario.

The second reason is that people who have struggled from a communist government are the candidate to being having less freedom and security. One example for this is that whoever opposes the legislation implemented by the government are bound to prison. In this manner, there is no freedom. For this reason, the people could only resolved this problem by keeping their mouth shut and stay passive for their security. If only a country is governed by a democratic officials there will be freedom and independence of the oppressed and more people feel they are secured and safe.

Finally, I believe that if I am secured I will be free from getting what I need and want. That's the reason I always had to put my money in the bank because in the bank I know the money I am saving is safe. Moreover, the money will be spent wisely and I can control my spending. Nobody knows when I get sick, right? For this reason, I am insured of my medical expenses whenever it calls for this matter.

Security is the best thing I need in my life while freedom and independence can be achieved once security is established.

TOEFL listening lectures: How would the professor most probably categorize Shinto?

[Alan]

Hi france,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL LETTERS: