Fri May 26, 2006 21:22 pm Free TOEFL essay sample: Which do you feel is more important |
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Hi france,
I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL LETTERS:
| Quote: | Which do you feel is more important in your life: security or freedom and independence? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.
Security, Freedom and Independence are both important aspects in our lives. In my opinion these three things are interrelated. However, on top of my personal needs, security posts/HOLDS the utmost significance in my life.
There are several reasons in which I contended/CLAIM/CONTEND that security comes in first as an important need in my life. As it defines/IS DEFINED, it is the condition wherein one is being protected from the (NO ARTICLE)danger and loss. This is one of the reasons I want security because I want that, in any circumstances, I would feel safe and secured/SECURE anywhere I want to go. At a glance of one of the breaking news ITEMS recently, I heard that a 5-year old boy had BEEN left unattended by a mother playing in the park. As soon as the mother checked/ON for her son, the boy WAS found hit by a side?? truck. The boy didn't HAVE/STAND A CHANCE OF SURVIVINGget the chance to survive. If the mother could have just stayED put and watchED her son, this situation could beHAVE BEEN avoided as the kid would be WOULD HAVE BEEN able to get free to play safely even in the unexpected scenario.
The second reason is that people who have struggled FREE OF from a communist government are the candidateS FOR (to being) having less freedom and security. One example for/OF this is that whoever opposes the legislation implemented by the government are/IS bound to GO TO prison. In this manner, there is no freedom. For this reason, the people could only resolved/RESOLVE this problem by keeping their mouth shut and stayING passive for their security. If only a country is governed by a NO ARTICLE democratic officials there will be freedom and independence of the oppressed and more people WILL feel they are secured and safe.
Finally, I believe that if I am secured/SAFE I will be free from getting TO GET what I need and want. That's the reason I always had/HAVE to put my money in the bank because in the bank I know the money I am saving is safe. Moreover, the money will be spent wisely and I can control my spending. Nobody knows when I WILLget sick, DO THEY? right? For this reason, I am insured of my medical expenses whenever it calls for this matter. I HAVE MEDICAL INSURANCE TO PAY FOR MEDICAL EXPENSES WHEN NEEDED.
Security is the best thing I need in my life while freedom and independence can be achieved once security is established.
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Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Communicating with you? |
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Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 7278 Location: UK
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