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Technology is making communication easier in todays world



 
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Technology is making communication easier in todays world #1 (permalink) Tue May 08, 2012 13:05 pm   Technology is making communication easier in todays world
 

Hello,

would be great if you could take a look at this essay.

Thank you very much!

Technology is making communication easier in todays world, but at the expense of personal contact as many people choose to work at home in front of a computer screen. What dangers are there for a society which depends on computer screens rather than face-to-face contact for its main means of communication?

With today's communication technologies people around the world are connected through their computer. It is very easy and simple as well to communicate with someone sitting on the other side of the globe. The possibility to be available twentyfour hours a day through a web interface can be rather dangerous as well.

One of the biggest dangers is that people start to live a life without any social contacts. Everyone starts to live in his own world, a world dominated purely by their computer screen messages. Living an illusion that millions of friends are out there just waiting for you. Friends that will support you on a bad day or will cheer you up if you won't feel well. This artifical bubble starts to burst as soon as people get into real world problems, like loosing their job.

Another danger from relying purely on communication technologies through the internet occures when it comes to deadlining colleagues, clients as well as costumers. Nothing is easier than sending and email to someone and telling him or her that he or she misunderstood something and it needs to be redone. This form of one way communcation will lead sooner or later to inefficiency. Would it have been discussed face-to-face and show some examples on how to do it not only a lot of time but also a lot of frustation could have been avoided.

Relying on communcation entirely through the computer screen not only can cause economical problems but also social problems. Even though we are in the twentyfirst century is it still very efficient and form a social point of view highly recommended to choose face-to-face communcation over the latest web interface.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the Louisiade Archipelago host more bird species than the Hawaiian Islands?
HerbKat
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 06 May 2012
Posts: 14

Re: Technology is making communication easier in todays world #2 (permalink) Wed May 09, 2012 14:45 pm   Re: Technology is making communication easier in todays world
 

Hi, I thought your essay was very good. You do have quite a few spelling mistakes. The other aspects of your writing are excellent for the most part - you do have that one awkward sentence and a few minor grammatical mistakes. I would rate this a 4 out of 5, but you would get a 4.5 without the spelling mistakes.

HerbKat wrote:
Hello,

would be great if you could take a look at this essay.

Thank you very much!

Technology is making communication easier in today[']s world, but at the expense of personal contact as many people choose to work at home in front of a computer screen. What dangers are there for a society which depends on computer screens rather than face-to-face contact for its main means of communication?

With today's communication technologies people around the world are connected through their computer[s ]. It is very easy and simple as well to communicate with someone sitting on the other side of the globe. The possibility to be available twentyfour[twenty-four] hours a day through a web interface can be rather dangerous as well.

One of the biggest dangers is that people start to live a life without any social contacts. Everyone starts to live in his own world, a world dominated purely by their computer screen messages. Living an illusion that millions of friends are out there just waiting for you. Friends that will support you on a bad day or will cheer you up if you won't feel well. This artifical{sp} bubble starts to burst as soon as people get into{"encounter" would be a better word choice here} real world problems, like loosing{sp} their job.

Another danger from[of] relying purely on communication technologies through the internet occures{sp} when it comes to deadlining{I have never heard of deadline being used as a verb} colleagues, clients as well as costumers.{sp} Nothing is easier than sending and[an] email to someone and telling him or her that he or she misunderstood something and it needs to be redone. This form of one way communcation{sp} will lead sooner or later to inefficiency. Would it have {"If it had" sounds better to me} been discussed face-to-face and show {this sentence structure is wrong - what is the subject that is showing? you could say "and some examples shown" but I think changing the whole sentence to active voice would be better} some examples on how to do it not only a lot of time but also a lot of frustation{sp} could have been avoided.

Relying on communcation{sp} entirely through the computer screen not only can cause economical {economical means inexpensive - economic means having to do with economics} problems but also social problems. Even though we are in the twentyfirst[twenty-first] century is it still very efficient and form[from] a social point of view highly recommended to choose face-to-face communcation{sp} over the latest web interface.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the Louisiade Archipelago host more bird species than the Hawaiian Islands?
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 6529
Location: Nashville TN, USA

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