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TOEFL essay sample: How to socialize our lives



 
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TOEFL essay sample: How to socialize our lives Sat Jun 03, 2006 3:25 am  TOEFL essay sample: How to socialize our lives
 

Every word between the brackets should be under correction

[

Good Morning/Evening

I have came to a way where I collect topics in one essay so rather than writing 185 to cover all the topics, I will write 17 long essay to cover 63.3% of the 185 topic and so to have a probability of .633 of facing familiar topics in the test day, although it cost 1 week to write such an essay.

TOEFL Essay Sample

How to socialize our lives

People nowadays are too far from each other psychologically, they are not connected warmly and relationships with each other if any are too cold and boring. This leads also to the fact that humans are becoming to live alone in their own world ignoring the others and more people are becoming without friends. These things have disadvantages in each community and to reduce their effects, some actions are advised to be done. Attending classes, studying in groups for students, making trips in companion for travelers and camper, watching TV with the family and friends rather than alone and moving to a friendly and open community and neighborhood can socialize our lives.

Some people claim that it is better not to attend classes and rather sit alone in your bedroom and be an online student. Well, the internet is being part of outlives and imaginers claim that we will do every thing online including I've tried to use a swear word but it doesn't work here. which is something I could not understand. I admit that attending classes online has an advantage in a way that students will not have to spend time coming to classes and going back home. But, attending classes has many more social advantages than being home. When a student attends classes in universities and schools, he/she will meet directly a lot of people including other students and professor and this will enable the student to easily build networks and friendships. In fact, I consider classes as the best places where people can develop relationships because students go to classes for a relatively long period of their lives and meet others who are in the same age and share similar interest. Also, the more students participate in classes, the more they learn.


Some students prefer to study alone but experts said that studying together in groups has more benefits in terms of the academic and the social sides. Academically, the more students solve problem together, the more they share information and correct for each other and so the more they find out and learn. Communally, when students used to discuss and argue daily about academic subjects and so, their communication skills will be developed and they will used to work in a team and prepare them socially in their lives.

If a traveler decided to go alone, it is true that he will has some privacy. But going in companion has benefits that overweigh the privacy. As the group intend to learn and tech from each other. For example, I went to a camp last week and was asked by the leader of the group to make a diner's fire from basic materials and since I do not know how to do it, I have asked and been taught the way. After this, I realized if I had gone alone, I will never know any thing. Moreover, the duties seem to be heavy loaded for a single person going for camp while going in a companion will average the duties for each single person. The most important thing to gain while traveling or camping in a group is to get the team spirit and make new friendship and relationship. In fact, I had no girlfriend and thought I will live alone for the rest of my life till the day that I decided to go for a campaign with a group, met a girl ,closely knew her, and then after that she has became the love of my life. This was a clear example on how going in group make our lives so social.


Watching TV could connect people together since TV programs may be a major source of topics to open a discussion with any person you would arbitrary meet and this possibly may lead to a friendship especially if the that person shares a favorite programs. A more important advantage of it is that when the family and friends sit, watch together and discuss about what they just have seen. This would really make a warm environment that lets people sit longer together.

Living in friendly warm community rather than freezing one could help socialized our life. If you were born by coincidence in a cold society or you live with your family in a boring and not connected neighborhood then it is time to move. For example I was born in a place, a fascist radical racist place that separates boys, girls and men, woman from each other. And when I grew up, I felt that I will be crazy if I stay any longer in this mentally sick society. I made a brave decision and moved to an open community and am living now a normal social life and have many men and women friends.

We should not give up and see our lives on their last legs and don’t do any thing while there are a lot of ways on how we make our self social. Attending class, studying, camping and watching TV in groups and moving to a friendly community could make us connected, happier and warmer.

]

Many thanks Alan for you patient
Sultan
New Member


Joined: 28 Feb 2006
Posts: 4

TOEFL essay sample: 'How to socialize our lives' Sat Jun 03, 2006 10:13 am  TOEFL essay sample: 'How to socialize our lives'
 

Hi Sultan,

My suggestions are in CAPITAL letters:

Quote:
People nowadays are too far from each other psychologically, they are not connected warmly and relationships with each other if any are too cold and boring. This leads also to the fact that humans are becoming/STARTING to live alone in their own world ignoring the/NO ARTICLE others and more people are becoming/LIVING without friends. These things have disadvantages in each community and to reduce their effects, some actions are advised to be done/ACTION SHOULD BE TAKEN. Attending classes, studying in groups for students, making trips in companion for travelers and camperS, watching TV with the family and friends rather than alone and moving to a friendly and open community and neighborhood can socialize our lives.

Some people claim that it is better not to attend classes and rather sit alone in your bedroom and be an online student. Well, the internet is being part of outlives/IS PART OF OUR LIVES and imaginers claim that we will do every thing online including I've tried to use a swear word but it doesn't work here. which is something I could not understand. I admit that attending classes online has an advantage in a way that students will not have to spend time coming to classes and going back home. But, attending classes has many more social advantages than being/AT home. When a student attends classes in universities and schools, he/she will meet directly a lot of people including other students and professorS and this will enable the student to easily build networks and friendships. In fact, I consider classes as the best places where people can develop relationships because students go to classes for a relatively long period of their lives and meet others who are in/OF the same age and share similar interestS. Also, the more students participate in classes, the more they learn.

Some students prefer to study alone but experts said that studying together in groups has more benefits in terms of the academic and the social sides. Academically, the more students solve problemS together, the more they share information and correct/EACH OTHER'S WORK for each other (and so) the more they find out and learn. Communally, when students ARE used to/DISCUSSING discuss and argue/ARGUING daily about academic subjects (and so), their communication skills will be developed and they will GET used to/WORKING work in a team and prepare/PREPARING themSELVES socially in their lives.

If a traveler decided to go alone, it is true that he will/WOULD HAVE has some privacy. But going in/WITH companionS has benefits that overweigh/OUTWEIGH GOING ALONE (the privacy). As the group intend to learn and tech from/TEACH each other. For example, I went to a camp last week and was asked by the leader of the group to make a diner's fire /A FIRE FOR DINNER from basic materials and since I do/DID not know how to do it, I have asked/I ASKED and been/WAS taught the way. After this, I realized if I had gone alone, I will /WOULD never know/HAVE KNOWN anything. Moreover, the duties seem to be heavy loaded/DIFFICULT for a single person going/CAMPING for camp while going in/WITH a companion will average/SHARE OUT the duties for each single person. The most important thing to gain while traveling or camping in a group is to get the team spirit and make new friendshipS and relationshipS. In fact, I had no girlfriend and thought I will/WOULD live alone for the rest of my life till the day that I decided to go for/ON a campaign/CAMPING HOLIDAY? with a group, met a girl ,closely knew her/GOT TO KNOW HER WELL, and then after that/SINCE THEN she has became/BECOME the love of my life. This was a clear example on how going in A group CAN make our lives so social./MORE SOCIABLE

Watching TV could connect people together since TV programs may be a major source of topics to open a discussion with any person you would arbitrary/ARBITRARILY meet and this possibly may lead to a friendship especially if the that person shares a favorite program. A more important advantage of it is that when the family and friends sit, watch together and discuss about what they just have seen. This would really make a warm environment that lets people sit longer together/STAY TOGETHER LONGER.

Living in A friendly warm community rather than freezing one could help DEVELOP A socialized our life. If you were born by coincidence in a cold society or you live with your family in a boring and not connected neighborhood then it is time to move. For example I was born in Saudi Arabia, a fascist radical racist country that separates boys, girls and men, woman from each other. And when I grew up, I felt that I will/WOULD be crazy if I stayED any longer in this mentally sick society. I made a brave decision and moved to an open community and am living now a normal social life and have many men and women friends.

We should not give up and see our lives AS BEING on their last legs and don’t /NOT do any thing while there are a lot of ways on how we CAN make our self /OURSELVES social. Attending class, studying, camping and watching TV in groups and moving to a friendly community could make us connected, happier and warmer.

]

Alan
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