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TOEFL essay sample: Invest in the basic education...



 
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TOEFL essay sample: Invest in the basic education... Wed Jun 21, 2006 12:25 pm  TOEFL essay sample: Invest in the basic education...
 

TOEFL essay sample

As the developing countries and the third world countries, there are a funds, how to use it? Invest in the basic education or in the high-technology, for instance, computer? What‘s your opinion?

This period of time indicates a lot of cooperations between developed and developing countries. For example, third world countries receive funds from richer countries. One problem must be in consideration is how to use these funds effectively? Invest in the basic education or in the high-technology. In this essay, I am trying to give my view point of using these funds.

In the one hand, the lack in education in third word countries could lead people to unemployment, poverty and hence to other social problems. People can not find complicate jobs with good salaries with low level of knowledge. These people can not choose the right way by themselves and for them "food is more important than knowledge". Consequently, they sometimes look for their opportunities in bad doings. Thus the government should pay its attention on this issue. Funds for basic education can be used to resolve this problem.

On the other hand, the gaps between third world countries and developed countries become more and more deep without applying modern technology in poor countries. They need the assistance of developed countries in the developing the industry, the modernization the agriculture, as well as in the other aspects of real life. Thanks to investment in the high-technology, people can be richer and have a better life.

It is very clear that high-technology and education is close aspects and they have affects each on other. In other words, the investment in high-technology is the investment in education as well. On the other hand, the investment in education leads us to applying invested high-technology.

In conclusion, I want to state that every fund must be used effectively and must be divided for basic education and the high technology in the same time. A good using these funds will bring benefits to developing countries and third world countries.
Gianglt
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TOEFL essay sample: Invest in the basic education... Thu Jun 22, 2006 8:48 am  TOEFL essay sample: Invest in the basic education...
 

Hi,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL letters and put brackets ( ) around words that are unnecessary:

Quote:
This period of time indicates a lot of cooperation(s)between developed and developing countries. For example, third world countries receive funds from richer countries. One problem WHICH must be in/UNDER consideration is how to use these funds effectively? Invest in (the )basic education or in (the) high-technology. In this essay, I am trying to give my view (point) of/ON using these funds.

In/ON the one hand, the lack in/OF education in third worLd countries could lead people to unemployment, poverty and hence to other social problems. People cannot find complicateD jobs with good salaries with A low level of knowledge. These people cannot choose the right way by themselves and for them "food is more important than knowledge". Consequently, they sometimes look for their opportunities in bad doings/ACTIONS. Thus the government should pay (its) attention on/TO this issue. Funds for basic education can be used to resolve this problem.

On the other hand, the gaps between third world countries and developed countries become more and more deep without/BY NOT applying modern technology in poor countries. They need the assistance of developed countries in (the) developing (the) industry, (the) modernization, (the) agriculture, as well as in the other aspects of real life. Thanks to investment in (the) high-technology, people can be richer and have a better life.

It is very clear that high-technology and education is/ARE closeLY RELATED aspects and they have affects/AN EFFECT ON EACH OTHER each on other. In other words, the investment in high-technology is the investment in education as well. On the other hand, the investment in education leads us to applying invested high-technology.

In conclusion, I want to state that every fund must be used effectively and must be divided for basic education and (the) high technology in/AT the same time. A good using/USE OF these funds will bring benefits to developing countries and third world countries.

Alan
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