TOEFL essay sample: Work for an employer or start...

[FangFang]

TOEFL essay sample

Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business?

Work for an employer or start your own business，which is an individual career planning ，to much extent， based on one’s interest，ability，social and economic status and so on.

For those who want to own their businesses self-employment mostly means sort of pleasure,freedom and accomplishment of self-value.They lead a free way that could help them get rid of much repression from commanding bosses.When working self-employers always know what they should do，when，where and how。That is something of good. For during that course one‘s ability of dealing with problems can be gradually set up。Working for yourself own，to a point，involves much difficult than being employed by others.You may be a green hand first，but it doesn‘t mean you won’t succeed at all。Many well-done persons attain their achievements from triers。They also say，wealth not only lies in the number of money he has made，but in the extent from which one can feel his happiness and satisfaction.

Compared with people above，those who have to run businesses may not be grouped into lucky starters。Being lack of necessary expenditures they lauch businesses to support life。It is the economic embarrassment that lends an impetus to their launchments。Those people working as employers also fall into this group。Some find no more improvments whatever they did ，job just means hopelessness ，thus，here are coming changes。These two kinds of people，apart from their initial purposes ，in a sense ，are brave pioneers 。 They may not share much pleasurement from the beginning，but ，as the boss of your own you will enjoy all to make life leading to its envision，why not make it come true?

Different people have different situations regarding this 。I am not an illusionist。I love to make my own ways of life，like running businesses which will bring me much happiness，but so far，what i need mostly is knowledges neccessary enough to support this idea。To work as an employer may help me with it，for you can accumulate much while working with colleagues，bosses，dealers etc。Furthermore except for one’s interests，passions he still needs to learn much 。In a word，I prefer to work for myself ，but i enjoy every stage before that，learning and growing.

[Dark Magician]

Dear FrangFang
I read your article carefully and I noted to your Ideas way and your analysation about market place system.
I suppose there are three kinds from layers social in work system:
1- The worker whose work in some-one a factory and he didn't have except his salary such as employed.
2- Small owner: he have same factory or company and I guess this kind from people, they can to be from big owner in the near future.
3- The huge owner: this layer has all products elements and it small layer in work system such as General Motors and LG and Intel. (I mean the persons not the companies)
Of course every one wants to be owner to some-one the factories or company but in fact that is very hard because you must have two things for you to be from owners:
A- Money B- Experiences in your job.
But the most youngs they haven't these two things. So they must work as hard as they ex work
Finally I think if you can develop your skills in market place system, you are in limit time you will from the huge owners.
Your article is perfect ………. Good work.
I wish good luck
_________________
Right is always stronger than iniquity.

[Alan]

Hi FangFang,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL letters and put brackets round words that are unnecessary:

[FangFang]

Dear Alan:

Many thanks for your suggestions and capital corrections.I am learning to express myself appropriately by writing.
Here,i find you did some suggestions about "YOU ",as follows,
"YOU MUST STICK TO ONE PRONOUN - WHICH YOU CAN FEEL YOUR HAPPINESS "
and
" Furthermore except for one’s/YOUR interests，passions he /YOU STILL NEED still needs to learn much ."
what is the difference between "you"and "he" ,i mean,different pronouns give different tones ,which is better ?
The other question is about "because "and "for",both are used to give reasons,"because" is mainly used to explain something one doesn't know,"for" gives obvious reasons .I think the facts are reasonable to everyone,why use "because"?
Thanks again!

[Alan]

Hi FangFang,

To answer your points. I think it is simpler to use you as the impersonal pronoun. Otherwise it gets very complicated and you have to say he or she each time. You can simply mean anybody. It is the sort of word you find on instructions as in: In order to operate this peice of equipment you have to press the green button first.The other point about 'because' and 'for' - is that because explains the reason for doing something: They worked hard because they wanted a better standard of living. 'For' is more of a literary word as in: He led a distinguished career as a judge for he believed in fairness. For in that special sense has the idea of it is true to say.

Alan
_________________
English as a Foreign Language
You can read my EFL story Everything in the Garden is lovely

[Tannia]

Money never lasts forever and it is a talent to know how to appropriately invest them. There is no school to teach you how to manage your money. Sometimes, what is though in the financial books is not like in the real life. You need to have a feeling how to reasonably spend them. I am sure saved money spends easily and with one snap of your finger they will be gone. That is why I would do my best to put the money in well running business.
First I would choose to buy a business. I have always wanted to start my own business and managed a small store. If I am lucky to won money or able to save enough, I would open a nutritional store. Since I graduated in the field of medicine, I have been reading a lot about vitamins and nutrients. Nowadays, the life is so stressful and tensed that with the ages it reflects on our health. People are so busy with their every day job and chores that they don’t pay attention to their personal health. In my opinion you have to enjoy good health, so you can take pleasure of other things in the life.
Well invested money can give variety of opportunities to improve your life stile. It will make your dream come true. This is the reason I would chose to buy a business first and then take advantage of other benefits such as house. In this circumstance having a house would be much safer. There would be no worries about any kinds of house needs like payments, taxes, utilities.
I think it is all matter of ability to financially manage your money. How I said it is easy to spend the money but is hard not to run out of them.

[Hema]

Most of the people like to own a business.If every one is wishing to be a bussiness owner, who will work for them? there will be no employees right? I think,there are different advantages of both, owing a business and working for an employer, however, I would like to work as a salaried employee. There are many factors for my particular choice.

First reason is the finanacial matter, to own a business I need abundance money. I think this idea is redeculous, first you spend enormous amount of money then if your business is not growing well you ruin your life and entered in bankrupcy. However this dosen't happen to all businesses. Second, workload in business is so much, while if you work for someone else you don't have to worry after hours. you can enjoy your life without any tension. you don't think about work as you do for your business.

Social factor is also important for my choice, as a being woman, in our culture, we have many responsibities toward our family. Owning a business will become so stressful in addition to other family matters. Eventhough, you can manage your time according to your choice and you don't have to follow someone else, if you work for yourself, it will not fit for my circumtances.

Lastely, it could be good and beneficial to own a business but, having other advantages of working as an employee, I would rather work for someone else. I can enjoy life in every perspect.

[Alan]

Hi tannia,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL letters: