#2 (permalink) Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:16 am TOEFL essay sample: Do you agree or disagree that parents... |
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Hi carrey,
My suggestions are in CAPITAL letters and unnecessary words are in brackets ( ):
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When it comes to decide/TO DECIDING who is/ARE the best teachers, the teachers in school or the parents who guide children in/AT home. It is becoming the/A hot issue with the shot?? events appearing in school in (the )recent years. Many people argue that children should learn knowledge in school, however , I think parents are the best teachers compared to (the) school teachers. The concrete evidence(s) and detailed reasons are displayed as follows:
First, when children was/ARE born, the first one/PERSON they (would)see was/IS their father or mother, Therefore, parents will have the/A direct impact on children. Among the information children can get from parents are language, behavior and A world view. Thanks TO (for the) instant/CONSTANT contact, children (could) know which deed is right or wrong, how the polite boy behaveS himself and what method should be used when you come across (the) difficulties. They learn these THINGS through their eyes and ears and then remember THEM in their minds .
Second, we admit that school teachers could teach children various subjects, for example, math or physics, which may be unfamiliar to parents. At this point, school teachers have more advantages than parents. Nevertheless , the basic value of education means (to) how to make children’s potential realized to the most extend/TO THE GREATEST EXTENT. Who knows children’s strength(e)s and weaknesses best? The answer apparently is parents. We cannot expect every child to be one/A famous scientist or president. Besides them , (the) society also need artists , doctors and dancers etc. At this point , parents should and could set the stage for children to display their talents and potential(s) rather than impose/FORCE children to take the career which seems to bring wealth and fame to THEIR family.
Last but not least, parents can teach children anywhere anytime. The bed story maybe liftS children’s spiritS and stimulateS their courage. The random walk in THE garden can be enriched with questions and answers between parents and children and the misdeed can be found and rectified as soon as possible. However , school teachers just score tests and assign homework .
From the discussion above .we could learn /WE CAN SEE that parents are the best teachers. All parents should take ON THEIR DUTIES the duty and try to become children’s model at/IN both (the) deed and (the) spirit (aspects). |
Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
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Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13890 Location: UK
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