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Audio book description
The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this audiobook, means "meat-eating", and once you have heard such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to listen any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby. Sadly our time is filled with researching and recording the displeasing and disenchanting lives of the Baudelaire orphans. But your time might be better filled with something more palatable, such as eating your vegetables, or feeding them to someone else.

Audio book description
Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over. The tenth book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details, such as snow gnats, an organized troupe of youngsters, an evil villain with a dastardly plan, a secret headquarters, and some dangerous antics you should not try at home. This is one chilling recording you would be better off without.

Audio book description
Dear Customer, I am sorry to tell you that this audiobook is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. One might say that they are magnets for misfortune. On this recording alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast. It is my sad duty to record these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from ignoring this audio completely and choosing something happy instead, if you prefer that sort of thing. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket…

Audio book description
Dear Customer, This story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire orphans spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle. But don't be fooled. The three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odour, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp, and the reappearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again. I have made a solemn vow to present this information to the public, but there is nothing stopping you from pretending you've never heard of the audiobook. Then you can buy something that is less unpleasant. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket…

Audio book description
Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over. The eleventh book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details. This is one chilling recording you would be better off without.

Audio book description
You have undoubtedly picked up information about this audiobook by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would listen to this particular story about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded on our audiobook. We can think of no single reason why anyone would want to listen to an audiobook containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats. It is our solemn and sacred occupation to research and publish each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and record them all, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as stocking another audiobook instead.

Audio book description
Dear Listener, You are presumably looking here for clues to the shocking conclusion of this terminal audiobook, or the ending of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the b…

Audio book description
Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his New York Times best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events . After any harrowing struggle, it is nice to consider checking into a hotel for a rest. In fact, this might be…