| #2 (permalink) Tue Jul 25, 2006 11:14 am TOEFL essay sample: Do you agree or disagree with...
My suggestions are in CAPITAL letters:
|Recently, in China mainland/IN MAINLAND CHINA almost every media are/WERE/HAVE BEEN tracking and talking about a CERTAIN female's life. This female is Wang Fei, who is a famous singer in China and Hong Kong. Her delivery? is closing day by day. Then, there |
are a lot of journalists who keep eyes/AN EYE on her and take shots of her. In our life, however, I think there have/ARE more important things that we should pay attention TO than a celebrity's life. As far as I am concerned, media should not focus on the personal lives of famous persons, they should pay more attention on/TO the other meaningful things which improve our life, such as THE weather report, and street construction. I hold this view for several important reasons. I will explain in this essay.
First of all, media, such as television, newspapers and magazine, should reflect our society, including life, nature and social problemS, not just a certain people's/INDIVIDUAL'S life. Our society is composed of person/PEOPLE, nature and human activities. Also, some problems, which are relevant with/TO our life, should attract attention(s.) For example, reporting THE
weather, traffic information and air-polluted situations frequently ALL THESE HAVE/has more meaning than focusing on a personal life. Because by doing so, we can keep away from difficulties in our routine life, and our society can run more efficiently. Having BEEN informed OF the storm's arrival, we can take/MAKE (a) good preparation, like moving to a safe place and storing food; having imparted/BEEN TOLD ABOUT the traffic jam as soon as possible, we can circumvent the jam; having noticed the air-polluted atmosphere, patients can choose to stay in doorS and away from the allergic substance. In these cases, broadcasting or reporting the information, which relates to people's lives, are more attracting/SIGNIFICANT. As a result, the media
are more welcomed by the audience(s)/LISTENERSor readers for their worthy/WORTHWHILE information.
Secondly, celebrities are human too, and they desire to live a normal life, like us. Too many attentions/TOO MUCH ATTENTION from THE
media, audiences and readers will disturb them, or even bring danger to them. A good example is not far from Diana, who is/WAS A BRITISH PRINCESS the previous Princess of British. Also she is a beautiful lady, charming and elegant. One night, she had a car accident and passed away (in it). It was said that at that time, she was trying to get rid of the journalists who followed her and made her uncomfortable. From this case, we can imagine, if the same situations happen to ourselves: whatever we say will be published on the second day; whatever we do will be exposed to the public instantly online; our families and friends, who just like a normal life ,
their lives will be exposed TO everyone in the world; in this life, we have no privacy, because as a public person, a celebrity, we have been exhibited to anyone who sometimes are/IS interested in us, and talkS about us just for fun. Obviously, we will feel stuffy and pressure/RESTRICTED AND UNDER PRESSURE. So I suggest that the media should respect the famous people and give them free air and A safe feeling. And for those journalists who enjoy detecting the celebrities lives, they should put their feet in those celebrities shoes.
From the statements I mentioned before, it is clearly/CLEAR (to get the) MY conclusion IS that media should not focus on the personal lives of famous figures. According to THE analysis above, If these media provide us with more information to improve our efficient society, and if they respect persons' privacy, they will be more welcomed by audiences and readers.
English as a Second Language
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