Google
English-Test.net
Find penpals and make new friends today!
 
to recall to the mind; to retain in one's mind; to have a recollection
diversify
lumber
remember
appropriate
full quiz correct answer
 
Username
Password
 Remember me? 
Search   Album   FAQ   Memberlist   Profile   Private messages   Register   Log in 

Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours



 
TOEIC Practice tests Increase your TOEIC test score with
684 Vocabulary + 100 Grammar tests
3420 flash cards plus an ESL book
ESL Forum | Preparation forum for the TOEIC® Test
Children today are not as fit and healthy as in the past. Discuss the causes for | Please check my essay: The most important aspect of job is money. Agree or not?
listening exercises
Message
Author
Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours #1 (permalink) Thu Jan 09, 2014 15:54 pm   Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours
 

Job is one of the most significant factors in every one's life to make an appropriate lifetime. By having a favorite job human being enjoys more of their occupation and their life. There are different kinds of jobs; some of them have three days with long hours to work and in other situation there is five days with shorter time to work. By having a five day working people are able to enjoy their time at the evening rather than the three days job. Still, although having a nice evening with the family might be an advantage is some way, in my opinion, I would prefer to have three days a week for long hours, as it brings me more free days, more energy, and more motivation.
To begin with, in my view, when we have more free days in a week we would be able to do various things. We are free to take our desirable classes in many areas, having more times with family and friends, and even have a plan to take a trip every week. For example, last year, I was working in one company which I had four days free. Admittedly, that time was dramatically delightful for me. I could spend my time to learn English by going to English classes, I went to a music class and started to learn it, and every week I was able to go to my friend’s town near the beach and enjoy my time.
Second, at the first glance it seems that with possessing a five days’ work with shorter hours you would be more fresh because you spend less hours for working. However, I think it is not true and if it is then why most of people around us feeling exhausted after their job? For instance, I can see my father every day after he comes back to home. Honestly, I have never seen him so fresh and always he needs to rest. Nevertheless, my mother who took a job in three days with more hours in a day, is much fresher than my father, even though she has numerous things do add to his job. For example, she must clean home, cook, and so forth, but always she is energetic and amused.
Last but not least, when a person is working hard during a day and knows that he would have off days, he would come up with more impetus to do his work. To clarify, imagine that you are working hard and you feel so bored and tired. In that moment if you remember your free days for days, you will discover more incentive to do your best and accomplish your work as well.
All in all, as the reasons and examples have illustrated, I would rather to have a three days job to procure a more comfortable life and enjoy my life with more free days.
Zeinab1984
New Member


Joined: 18 Dec 2013
Posts: 5

Re: Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours #2 (permalink) Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:14 am   Re: Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours
 

Hi Zeinab, I thought your essay was pretty good. You addressed the topic pretty well, though your introduction was a little misleading to me - see my comment below. You have a good structure and have given detailed and personal examples, which did a good job of supporting your arguments. Most of your writing was pretty clear, but you did have some confusing phrases and many of your sentences did not really sound that natural. Your vocabulary is a little limited and you have some repetition in your words and phrases. I am not really familiar with the TOEIC scoring scales - if this was a TOEFL essay I would rate it about a 3.5 out of 5.

Zeinab1984 wrote:
[A] Job is one of the most significant factors in every one's{one word} life to make an appropriate lifetime.{this last phrase sounds pretty awkward} By having a favorite job [they love,] {a "favorite job" doesn't necessarily mean you hold that job} human being enjoys [people enjoy] more of their occupation and their life. There are different kinds of jobs; some of them have three days with long hours to work and in other situation[s ] there is[are] five days with shorter [hours each day] time to work. By having a five day working [week] people are able to enjoy their time at[in] the evening[, as opposed to] rather than the three days job. Still, although having a nice evening with the family might be an advantage i[n ] some way, in my opinion, I would prefer to have[work] three days a week for long hours, as it brings me more free days, more energy, and more motivation. {your different kinds of jobs is not quite right - I think the prompt is talking about doing the same job, but just with a different schedule. Really any job can be changed to a three or four day work schedule}
To begin with, in my view, when we have more free days in a week we would be able to do various things. We are free to take our desirable classes {"take our desirable classes" is unclear - what do you mean?} in many areas, having more times[time] with family and friends, and even have a plan to take a trip every week. For example, last year, I was working in one company [in] which I had four days [per week] free. Admittedly, that time was dramatically delightful{"dramatically delightful" sounds a bit odd} for me. I could spend my time to learn[ing] English by going to English classes, I went to a music class and started to learn it, and every week I was able to go to my friend’s town near the beach and enjoy my time.
Second, at the first glance it seems that with possessing {"possessing" is not really the best word here - maybe "… that by working a five day a week job with …"} a five days’ work with shorter hours you would be more fresh because you spend less[fewer] hours for working. However, I think it[this] is not true and [because] if it is[,] then why [do] most of people around us feeling exhausted after their job? For instance, I can see my father every day after he comes back to home. Honestly, I have never seen him so[very] fresh and [he] always he needs to rest. Nevertheless, my mother who took a [three day a week] job in three days with more hours in a [per] day, is much fresher than my father, even though she has numerous things do add to his job. {"do add to his job" is unclear to me - maybe you mean ".. things to do in addition to her job"} For example, she must clean ho[use], cook, and so forth, but always she is energetic and amused.{"amused" is not quite right - it means she thinks something is funny}
Last but not least, when a person is working hard during a day and knows that he w[ill] have off days, he w[ill] come up with more impetus to do his work. To clarify, imagine that you are working hard and you feel so bored and tired. In that moment if you remember your free days [coming up] for days, you will discover more incentive to do your best and accomplish your work as well.
All in all, as the reasons and examples have illustrated, I would rather to have a three days job to procure a more comfortable life and enjoy my life with more free days.{"more days off" is less repetitive}
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8541
Location: Nashville TN, USA

TOEIC Test Preparation — Increase your Score with 684 free TOEIC Vocabulary TestsTOEIC Study Guide Guaranteed to Raise TOEIC scores without weeks and months of studying — View the Free ReportTOEIC Grammar Exercises — Improve your English grammar and vocabulary skillsEvaluate and certifiy your business communication skills with TOEIC — TOEIC Certification
Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours #3 (permalink) Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:35 am   Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours
 

Be aware of the fact that no one is a born writer. Excellent writing can be acquried
through dedication and passion. To write about any topic first we should know through of the topic, so that the writing flow will come easily, we can add our thoughts/imagine/explanation to our best. I am really very jealous about Sir Alan on the forum, his writing
is god's gift to him. I am really very proud of his writing knowledge. But listening his voice is not up to my expectation.

Alan Sir, please don't scold at me on seeing the above comments.

S.Shanthi
_________________
If you want Excellence,You must aim at perfection in our work.
Shanthisethuraman
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Posts: 1418

Display posts from previous:   
Children today are not as fit and healthy as in the past. Discuss the causes for | Please check my essay: The most important aspect of job is money. Agree or not?
ESL Forum | Preparation forum for the TOEIC® Test All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1
Latest topics on TOEIC Test Forums
P.O.Box?Factual account: relocating from Bangalore to MysorePlease check my essay: your response are most valuableimportant qualities of a good school teacherIn today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakesPlease edit my writing: "Watching television is bad for children". AgrCan you please correct my essay? It is about my hometown.BRITISH ENGLISH / AMERICAN ENGLISHPlease check my essay. thank you!!! :xI have a question for listening test.Do your best in the TOEIC® test.if you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity toOne of the woman is carrying a white bag

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Get FREE English course via e-mail