Essay:Have a job three days with longer hours or five days shorter hours

[Zeinab1984]

Job is one of the most significant factors in every one's life to make an appropriate lifetime. By having a favorite job human being enjoys more of their occupation and their life. There are different kinds of jobs; some of them have three days with long hours to work and in other situation there is five days with shorter time to work. By having a five day working people are able to enjoy their time at the evening rather than the three days job. Still, although having a nice evening with the family might be an advantage is some way, in my opinion, I would prefer to have three days a week for long hours, as it brings me more free days, more energy, and more motivation.
To begin with, in my view, when we have more free days in a week we would be able to do various things. We are free to take our desirable classes in many areas, having more times with family and friends, and even have a plan to take a trip every week. For example, last year, I was working in one company which I had four days free. Admittedly, that time was dramatically delightful for me. I could spend my time to learn English by going to English classes, I went to a music class and started to learn it, and every week I was able to go to my friend’s town near the beach and enjoy my time.
Second, at the first glance it seems that with possessing a five days’ work with shorter hours you would be more fresh because you spend less hours for working. However, I think it is not true and if it is then why most of people around us feeling exhausted after their job? For instance, I can see my father every day after he comes back to home. Honestly, I have never seen him so fresh and always he needs to rest. Nevertheless, my mother who took a job in three days with more hours in a day, is much fresher than my father, even though she has numerous things do add to his job. For example, she must clean home, cook, and so forth, but always she is energetic and amused.
Last but not least, when a person is working hard during a day and knows that he would have off days, he would come up with more impetus to do his work. To clarify, imagine that you are working hard and you feel so bored and tired. In that moment if you remember your free days for days, you will discover more incentive to do your best and accomplish your work as well.
All in all, as the reasons and examples have illustrated, I would rather to have a three days job to procure a more comfortable life and enjoy my life with more free days.

[Luschen]

Hi Zeinab, I thought your essay was pretty good. You addressed the topic pretty well, though your introduction was a little misleading to me - see my comment below. You have a good structure and have given detailed and personal examples, which did a good job of supporting your arguments. Most of your writing was pretty clear, but you did have some confusing phrases and many of your sentences did not really sound that natural. Your vocabulary is a little limited and you have some repetition in your words and phrases. I am not really familiar with the TOEIC scoring scales - if this was a TOEFL essay I would rate it about a 3.5 out of 5.

[Shanthisethuraman]

Be aware of the fact that no one is a born writer. Excellent writing can be acquried
through dedication and passion. To write about any topic first we should know through of the topic, so that the writing flow will come easily, we can add our thoughts/imagine/explanation to our best. I am really very jealous about Sir Alan on the forum, his writing
is god's gift to him. I am really very proud of his writing knowledge. But listening his voice is not up to my expectation.

Alan Sir, please don't scold at me on seeing the above comments.

S.Shanthi
_________________
If you want Excellence,You must aim at perfection in our work.