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Argument writing -Comparing Estate Agents



 
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Issue writing, characteristics of a city | Argument Task: Decision making on the content of a magazine
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Argument writing -Comparing Estate Agents #1 (permalink) Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:23 pm   Argument writing -Comparing Estate Agents
 

Hello Luschen, I am sorry to post two topics in a row but can you help me with this.
thank you so much in advance.

"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


Response:
The author of this proposal claims that the Adam Realty real estate firm is a better choice for anyone who wants to sell their house quickly and at a good deal. While it is impressive to look at the number provided in the revenues and average house price of Adam Realty, it is not clear, however, the scope and validity of the comparison between Adam Realty and Fitch Realty firms. One person might have been conceived by the higher revenue and short time period, therefore he or she might come to the short conclusion that Adam Realty is superior like the author did. However, the author’s claim is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to convince readers to see Adam Realty as a better agency.
Citing the evidence provided by the author, Adam Realty has 40 real estate agents while Fitch Realty has 25 agents and many of those part-timers. It appears that the author postulates this comparison of amount of employees as one of the metric to contend which agency is a better one. Obviously, the author assumes that because Adam has more agents and Fitch has many part-time agents Adam is clear winner in the field of human resource. There is a principle in Economics called the diminishing of return, it states that the output will keep increasing together with the increased amount input, the increase continues up to some point where an additional unit of input will cause the decrease in output. It might be possible that Adam Realty has diminishing of return. Moreover, Fitch Realty agents are mostly part-timers does not lead to the conclusion that those part-time people are not as sufficient as people working for Adam Realty. Up to this point, the author has failed to disclose any kind of proof showing that Adam Realty with more people working under their firm achieves better efficiency than Fitch Realty with less people.
Additionally, author also quotes the statistic evidence saying that Adam Realty’s revenue is higher than that of Fitch Realty, and the average house price sold by Adam is higher than those sold by Fitch. While Adam agency records higher revenue for last year, Fitch agency might record a higher profit. We do not know how much those agencies spend on doing their business, therefore, it is unreasonable to look at the revenue and conclude Adam did a better job on selling house. Furthermore, the fact that average house price sold by Adam is higher than those sold by Fitch implies one thing that author fails to consider: it is possible that Adam only agrees to sell house for people who likes to settle with price higher than $160,000 and that Fitch agrees to sell house for people at any price. The author assumes that Fitch and Adam have the same kind of customers and all of them have the same requirement about house price. As a result, this indicates the author might have some bias or lack of sufficient statistics understanding to interpret the numbers.
Building upon the assumptions that every is the same, the author goes on citing an example that Fitch’s services, ten years ago, sold a customer house after four months providing it on the market while Adam’s service only takes one month to sell another house of the same customer. If the two houses mentioned in the example have the very identical features, same quality, and been sold at the same time period; the example will be a strong point to buttress the author’s argument. However, the timing is clearly different, Fitch Realty ten years ago was possibly a very small agent residing in the corner of the street and have no clear connections to market; the Fitch Realty today could have grown to a much stronger firm with higher efficiency than that in the past. Besides, the statement does not indicate the quality of the houses the customer were selling, if the house quality sold by Fitch is different from the one sold by Adam, it is impossible to compare work efficiency of two agencies.
Examining the various angles and factors needed to compare the two real estate agencies, the argument does not provide concrete evidence that Adam Realty sells house more quickly and at a better price than Fitch Realty. While the argument does provide many numbers and facts regarding the two firms, more information should be presented to show any clearer foundation for comparison.
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Argument writing -Comparing Estate Agents #2 (permalink) Fri Sep 02, 2016 15:53 pm   Argument writing -Comparing Estate Agents
 

TITLE EDITED.
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Re: Argument writing -Comparing Estate Agents #3 (permalink) Mon Sep 05, 2016 13:52 pm   Re: Argument writing -Comparing Estate Agents
 

Hi Duongandy,

I thought you did a great job with this one. You definitely have the correct format and I think you caught most of the potential flaws in the argument. One minor issue is the name of the company is Adams Realty with an "s". Please see my suggestions below:

Response:
The author of this proposal claims that the Adam[s ] Realty real estate firm is a better choice for anyone who wants to sell their house quickly and at a good deal. While it is impressive to look at the number[s ] provided [for] the revenues and average house price of Adam Realty, it is not clear, however, the scope and validity of the comparison between Adam[s ] Realty and Fitch Realty firms. One person might have been conceived [convinced] by the higher revenue and short time period, therefore he or she might come to the short {"short" isn't really correct - maybe "rapid" or "premature"} conclusion that Adam Realty is superior like the author did. However, the author’s claim is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to convince readers to see Adam Realty as a better agency.
Citing the evidence provided by the author, Adam Realty has 40 real estate agents while Fitch Realty has 25 agents[, with] many of those [being] part-timers. It appears that the author postulates this comparison of amount{use "number" for countable nouns like employee} of employees as one of the metric[s ] to contend which agency is a better one. Obviously, the author assumes that because Adam has more agents and Fitch has many part-time agents Adam is clear winner in [terms] of human resource[s ]. There is a principle in Economics called the diminishing of return[s;] it states that [instead of] the output [continuing to increase]will keep increasing together with the increased amount input, the increase continues up to some point [to] where an additional unit of input will cause the decrease in output. {this is not really the definition - diminishing returns is when additional input no longer results in the same increase in output - for instance it now takes two more employees for the increase in sales that one employee provides at a smaller firm. What you are describing is "negative returns"} It might be possible that Adam Realty has [reached the level of] diminishing of return[s ]. Moreover, [the fact that] Fitch Realty agents are mostly part-timers does not lead to the conclusion that those part-time people are not as sufficient [proficient] as people working for Adam Realty. Up to this point, the author has failed to disclose any kind of proof showing that Adam Realty with more people working under their firm achieves better efficiency than Fitch Realty with [fewer] {only use "less" for non countable nouns} people.
Additionally, [the] author also quotes the statistic[al] evidence saying that Adam Realty’s revenue is higher than that of Fitch Realty, and the average house price sold by Adam is higher than those sold by Fitch. While [the] Adam agency record[ed] higher revenue for last year, Fitch agency might record a higher profit. We do not know how much those agencies spend on doing their business, therefore, it is unreasonable to look at the revenue and conclude Adam did a better job on selling house[s ]. {it sounds more natural without the "on" here} Furthermore, the fact that [the] average house price sold by Adam is higher than those sold by Fitch implies one thing that author fails to consider: it is possible that Adam only agrees to sell house[s ] for people who likes to settle with price higher than $160,000 and that Fitch agrees to sell house for people at any price. The author assumes that Fitch and Adam have the same kind of customers and all of them have the same requirement about {"concerning" sounds better than "about" here} house price. As a result, this indicates the author might have some bias or lack of sufficient statistics understanding to [correctly] interpret the numbers. {you are on the right track here, but I didn't really like how you explained the "only agrees to sell houses with price higher than $160K" for one thing, the average is 168K, so there may be some 110K houses along with some 250K houses to generate the average. I think it would be better to focus on the clientele - maybe Adams realty tends to attract sellers with larger, more expensive houses. Or maybe Adams is based in an area where the homes tend to be more expensive and so their average home price is higher. That doesn't mean they are getting good deals for their clients. A house worth $100K that a realtor manages to sell for $110K is a much better deal for the seller than a $250K house that ends up selling for only $230K.)
Building upon the assumptions that every {you are missing a noun here} is the same, the author goes on [to cite] an example that Fitch’s services, ten years ago, sold a customer['s] house after four months providing it on the market while Adam’s service only t[ook] one month to sell another house of the same customer. If the two houses mentioned in the example h[ad] very identical features, same quality, and been sold at the same time period; the example [would] be a strong point to buttress the author’s argument. However, the timing is clearly different, Fitch Realty ten years ago was possibly a very small agent residing in the corner of the street and ha[d ] no clear connections to market; the Fitch Realty today could have grown to a much stronger firm with higher efficiency than that in the past. Besides, the statement does not indicate the quality of the houses the customer w[as] selling, if the house quality sold by Fitch is different from the one sold by Adam, it is impossible to compare [the] work efficiency of two agencies.
Examining the various angles and factors needed to compare the two real estate agencies, the argument does not provide concrete evidence that Adam Realty sells house more quickly and at a better price than Fitch Realty. While the argument does provide many numbers and facts regarding the two firms, more information should be presented to show any clearer foundation for comparison.[/quote]

Here is another good answer that I found:

http://www.testpreppractice.net/GRE/awa-samples/gre-argument-essay-85.html
Luschen
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Posts: 8541
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