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Pastimes by age - Table summerize



 
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Pastimes by age - Table summerize #1 (permalink) Tue Oct 17, 2017 15:33 pm   Pastimes by age - Table summerize
 

Topic:
"The numbers below show basic information about uses of leisure time among different age groups"

Table: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-dEKzLKHjofwRP4marubLpPpruegwwWCztw8TgPchyk/edit?usp=sharing

Here is my answer:

"The table illustrates how people in different ages use their free time. At first glance, it is evident that sports and exercise is by far the activity in which the whole population spends the most time; even though its popularity varies among each age group.
To begin, people aged from 13 to 19 spend most of their leisure time on computer and sports and exercise, at 75 and 60 minutes per weekend day respectively. In sharp contrast, the amount of time they use for reading is just 5 minutes per day.
In comparison with the other two groups, people from 20 to 65 years old use far more time for leisure activities. They are especially interested in sports and exercise, as the time they spend on this activity are 2 hours per weekend day, quadruple the time spent on reading or computer.
The pattern is reversed for those over 66 years old. They prefer spending time on intellectual pastimes to physical ones. With one hour per weekend day, reading is the favorite activity for the last group, whereas the figure for computer is half of that and for sports and exercise is just one-third.
To sum up, teenagers spend most of their time on computer while the mature prefer sports and exercise. Reading is most enjoyed by the elderly."

Please help me to correct this, thanks in advance!

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture on American social history
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Fouryz
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Re: Pastimes by age - Table summerize #2 (permalink) Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:11 am   Re: Pastimes by age - Table summerize
 

Hi Fouryz, not too bad, but see my notes about your first sentence and your summary.
I guess your table is wrong, it should be 20-65 years old? Also, an interesting fact you skipped is the overall time spent doing these three activities. It varies somewhat -
140 minutes for the teenagers and adults, but only 110 for the senior citizens.

Fouryz wrote:
Topic:
"The numbers below show basic information about uses of leisure time among different age groups"

Table: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-dEKzLKHjofwRP4marubLpPpruegwwWCztw8TgPchyk/edit?usp=sharing

Here is my answer:

"The table illustrates how people in different ages use their free time. {make sure your first sentence includes the number of categories or groups for each axis, as well as the unit of measurement for each axis if applicable - Also, "free time" is not really synonymous with "weekend day"} so here your should make sure to include something like: "the number of minutes each Saturday and Sunday people of three different age ranges spend doing three activities"} At first glance, it is evident that sports and exercise is by far the activity in which the whole population spends the most time; even though its popularity varies among each age group. {this is not the impression I got at all - Yes, sports and exercise is #1 for 20-66, but second for the youngest group and last place for the oldest group. I would say something like it is evident that the favorite activities are very age-dependent, with older people focusing on different activities than the younger generation}
To begin, people aged from 13 to 19 spend most of their leisure time on computer and sports and exercise, at 75 and 60 minutes per weekend day respectively. In sharp contrast, the amount of time they use for reading is just 5 minutes per day.
In comparison with the other two groups, people from 20 to 65 years old use {"allocate" or "devote" are other good synonyms here} far more time for leisure activities. They are especially interested in sports and exercise, as the time they spend on this activity [is] {time is non-countable singular} 2 hours per weekend day, quadruple the time spent on reading or computer.
The pattern is reversed for those over 66 years old. They prefer spending time on intellectual {I guess this is ok, but playing computer games is not necessarily intellectual -
I'm not sure what they are doing on the computer though} pastimes to physical ones. With one hour per weekend day, reading is the favorite activity for the last group, whereas the figure for computer is half of that and for sports and exercise is just one-third.
To sum up, teenagers spend most of their time on computer while the mature {"working-age adults" might be better here} prefer sports and exercise. Reading is most enjoyed by the elderly."

Please help me to correct this, thanks in advance!

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture on American social history
Luschen
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