#2 (permalink) Tue Oct 31, 2017 16:15 pm Re: knowledge gained from experience or knowledge gained from books? |
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Hi Mahdi, I liked this intro and conclusion better than your last one. Unfortunately you have written the wrong type of essay for this prompt. This is a "compare and contrast" essay, so you have to talk about book knowledge in your first body paragraph, then experiential knowledge in your second body paragraph, then in your third body paragraph, which you can combine with your conclusion if you like, you give your opinion. It is critical to make sure you address the type of prompt correctly. Sometimes this type of prompt will say "discuss both sides and give your opinion", but it still means you have to address both of the viewpoints, not just one. Your first body paragraph was ok, but I think your example could have been better - maybe learning a funny song from your friend or the latest joke are things that you usually don't learn from books. Or you could say you can read a lot of books about swimming, but you can't actually learn how to swim unless you get in the water and do it yourself. Your second body paragraph was really good. I think your third body paragraph was a little off base though. The question isn't about books vs internet, it is about books vs personal experience, so make sure to stick to the prompt. Here are some specific suggestions:
Mahdi wrote: | It has been said “Not every thing that is learned is contained in books” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion which source is more important? Why?
Nowadays lots of books are being published every year and they [contain much] {to avoid repetition] information. Some people think that they can get [everything] {this is overly vague - what do you mean by everything? "all the information they need for success"?} from their books. Personally, though, I believe that experiences are more important than books due to the fact that everyone has [a ]limited number of books and books do not tend to explore our personal problems. Moreover we do not have enough time to learn [everything] from our books. To begin with, in my opinion, if I wanted to learn [everything] from my books, I should have had very large bookshelves full of books. There [are] different aspects in our life that we do not require to sole them [cannot solve simply by] referring to our books. For instance, when [on] a chilly winter day I go [into] nature, I will make a fire. I did not learn how to make fire from my books. I just [learned] it from my friends. As you can see, we can not learn every thing from our books. {maybe not the best example, because there are many books that teach you how to make a fire} Furthermore, there are some problems which are dedicated [specific] to us and are personal problems[, therefore] we can not find [solutions] for them in our books. For example, [ d]eciding when I come back home,{this first example is confusing - do you mean like when to leave a party?} with which professor should I take my history class, [to ]which university should I apply and lots of issues like this [apply] just to one person. Therefore, his own experience [is the only way to] solve these issues. Finally, nowadays most people tend to work from morning to night and they do not have enough time to read different types of books. They absorb the information which they need from the internet and social media[ i]nstead of books. My own experience demonstrates the concept. I am really interested to search [everything] which I want to have information about it from [ G]oogle. When I [feel] that I [have a] sign {or better, "when I feel a sign of illness ..."} of illness in my body I [ G]oogle its symptoms on [the] internet and lots of [times]{"and often" - avoid using "lots of", it sounds a little unpolished} I have found a solution for them. If I [had] not [G]oogled my problems on the internet, I would not [have] solved [them] readily. To sum up, I think that nowadays people tend to read [fewer] books than before due to the fact that they do not have enough time to read them and also they can find more of them on the internet. They like to have decorative sculptures in their homes instead of books.
TOEFL listening lectures: What aspect of Ben Franklin's life does the speaker mainly discuss? |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 8541 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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