#2 (permalink) Mon Nov 06, 2017 16:05 pm Re: Restaurants or home-cooked meals? |
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Hi Mahdi, I think your grammar is this one was very good, hardly any grammatical mistakes. Your vocabulary was still pretty basic, with quite a lot of repetition. Your transitions in this one were very good, so your writing flowed smoothly. Your content did not seem quite as strong though. This one seems pretty short - it would be better to have some detailed examples to support your reasons.
Mahdi wrote: | Some people prefer to eat at fast stands or restaurants. Other people prepare to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
As cities develop, people have less time to cook food themselves and they tend to eat fast foods] { "food" is generally uncountable so "fast food" sounds more natural} more than ever before. Sometimes it is said that it usually takes less time to eat fast food in a restaurant. Although this might hold some truth, it ignores [the fact] that most of fast foods are {"fast food is ... and has"} unhealthy and have lots of negative effects on our bodies. Furthermore, it causes that family members [to] have a cold relationships with each other. To begin with, fast foods in restaurants are always junk and processed foods which are not healthy. For instance, one who buys a sandwich may not know that this sandwich is cooked in old oil and it is harmful for his stomach, therefore it may cause cancer[,] not to mention that what it does with his blood pressure. It is strongly believed that fast foods and junk foods have caused lots of illnesses and have shortened ones’ {"people's" is better here} lives. Furthermore, eating food at restaurants has a great impact on relationships between family members. In the past[,] [the] whole family ate their meals together, therefore they had a warm relationships with each other . In contrast, nowadays family members always eat their meals far from each other. Although it is said that people do not have enough time to gather around a table for eating their meals, this habit caused that family members [to] not have a warm relationship {"warm relationship" is repetitive here} with each other, therefore they do not understand each other. Not only did it cause {"has it caused" is a better tense here because it is still going on} a cold relationship between family members but also it [has] caused lots of divorces. To sum up, I feel that we should return to some of our past habits due to the fact that new ones have caused lots of problems in our societies such as health problems and divorces.
TOEFL listening lectures: To which entertainment does the lecturer not relate Greek drama? |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 8541 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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