Google
English-Test.net
Find penpals and make new friends today!
 
piece of land jutting into a body of water; bluff
bombast
promontory
glutton
feint
full quiz correct answer
 
Username
Password
 Remember me? 
Search   Album   FAQ   Memberlist   Profile   Private messages   Register   Log in 

What are the pros and cons of watching Televison for children?



 
TOEFL Practice tests Increase your TOEFL test score with
120 Vocabulary + 100 Grammar tests
600 TOEFL flashcards plus an ESL book
ESL Forums | Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and essay samples collection
Job | Newspapers will remain the most important source of news
listening exercises
Message
Author
What are the pros and cons of watching Televison for children? #1 (permalink) Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:44 am   What are the pros and cons of watching Televison for children?
 

Hi Luschen,

This is my IELTS essay. Could you please rate it for me? :)
Thank you a lot.

Topic: What are the pros and cons of watching Televison for children?

Nowadays, many people, and children in particular, enjoy watching television as the way of relaxation or even an educational tool. However, there are the drawbacks that should to be taken to consideration. In this essay, I will discuss both views of it.

On the one hand, television programs can be both entertaining and educational. Children can access a huge variety of entertainment channels that are often interesting and enjoyable. From an educational perspective, television is the useful tool that can help children to memorize much more knowledge easily than traditional teaching methods since documentaries on TV programs often make learning more exciting. For example, Discovery and National Graphic have become the best channels for children to explore and experience wildlife animals and natural habitats. Furthermore, it has been shown that having access to science fiction TV series during childhood encourages children to develop concentration, problem solving as well as logical thinking through discussion about plot and character development with parents, all of which are valuable skills for the rest of their life.

On the other hand, Early approach to television has negative impacts on children’s health and social life. Firstly, watching TV too much may ruin parents and children’s relationship as children spend much time on TV instead of communicating with their loved ones. Secondly, it is highly addictive because there are a significant of entertaining channels broadcast all the time to keep children watching. This leads to the sedentary lifestyle, lack of exercise and the rise in disease related to obesity and overweight. Finally, children are being exposed to violence and sexual images on TV programs, which may lead criminal activities or even early sex.

In conclusion, although television is helpful with the pros of education and entertainment for children, parents should consider to control their time spending on watching programs. Personally, I believe that these benefits eventually outweigh any negatives.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an american literature class
Trinhpham0811
New Member


Joined: 10 Nov 2017
Posts: 3

Re: What are the pros and cons of watching Televison for children? #2 (permalink) Wed Nov 15, 2017 18:17 pm   Re: What are the pros and cons of watching Televison for children?
 

Hi Trinhpham, welcome to the forum! I think your essay is very good.
You have addressed the topic correctly and completely. Your good use of transitions gives an excellent flow to your writing. Your vocabulary is good for the most part,
though you have used a few words incorrectly, and you do have a few mistakes in grammar and sentence structure. Still, the errors don't really interfere with my comprehension very much, so this might sneak in as a band 7.
Better to be safe though and correct some of the grammar mistakes.

Sorry, editing to say this - You really need to delete your final sentence. This prompt is strictly a "pros and cons" type prompt. Your personal opinion should not be given at all for this type of prompt. If you give it, the grader may think you are not on-task and may greatly lower your task achievement score. You are an excellent writer, so it would be a shame if you did not follow the prompt to a T.


Trinhpham0811 wrote:
Hi Luschen,

This is my IELTS essay. Could you please rate it for me? :)
Thank you a lot.

Topic: What are the pros and cons of watching Televison for children?

Nowadays, many people, and children in particular, enjoy watching television as [a] way of relaxation or even an educational tool. However, there are the drawbacks that should to be taken [into] consideration. In this essay, I will discuss both views of [this issue].

On the one hand, television programs can be both entertaining and educational. Children can access a huge variety of entertainment channels that are often interesting and enjoyable. From an educational perspective, television is [a]e useful tool that can help children to memorize much more knowledge [more] easily than traditional teaching methods[,] since documentaries on TV programs often make learning more exciting. For example, Discovery and National [Geographic] have become the best channels for children to explore and experience wildlife animals {the animals are the wildlife - wildlife is a noun} and natural habitats. Furthermore, it has been shown that having access to science fiction TV series during childhood encourages children to develop concentration [and] problem solving as well as logical thinking through discussion about plot and character development with parents, all of which are valuable skills for the rest of their li[ves].

On the other hand, [ e]arly approach {this is not really correct, try "early exposure to ..."} to television has negative impacts on children’s health and social life. Firstly, watching TV too much may ruin parents['] and children’s [relationships] {or maybe better, "ruin the parent-child relationship as ..."} as children spend much time on TV instead of communicating with their loved ones. Secondly, it is highly addictive because there are a significant [number] of entertaining channels [broadcasting] all the time to keep children watching. This leads to the [a ]sedentary lifestyle, {notice we could say "leads to the sedentary lifestyle often found in today's children." because then you are talking about a specific sedentary lifestyle} lack of exercise and the rise in disease related to obesity and [being] overweight. {but better just to say "related to obesity." because the overweight part is redundant} Finally, children are being exposed to violence and sexual images on TV programs, which may lead criminal activities or even early sex. {it sounds better to say "sexual activity" - "sex" here sounds a little too informal}

In conclusion, although television is helpful with [its] pros of education and entertainment for children, parents should consider [controlling] their time [spent] on {o, but it sounds more natural without this "on"} watching programs. Personally, I believe that these benefits eventually outweigh any negatives.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an american literature class
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8541
Location: Nashville TN, USA

TOEFL Prep Tests — Increase your Score with 120 free TOEFL Vocabulary TestsTOEFL Study Guide Guaranteed to Raise TOEFL scores without weeks and months of studying — View the Free ReportTOEFL Test Package — Learn the most difficult TOEFL vocabulary words you need to pass the TOEFL with these vocabulary tests and this unique flash card systemLearn how to explore English words! Subscribe to free email English course
Display posts from previous:   
Job | Newspapers will remain the most important source of news
ESL Forums | Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and essay samples collection All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1
Latest topics on TOEFL Test Forums
All young adults have to perform some kind of national serviceFormal examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement.What the main cause of stress in modern life, and how could stress be reduced?Fewer cars in use in twenty yearsto address crime, prison or better education?poor student behaviorInterneta piece of Jewelry or tickets of a concert ?Resolve the international environmental problems by increasing the cost of fuelMovies and television have negative effect on young peoplewhat are the advantages and disadvantages of using CCTV to fight crime?What are the pros and cons of using public transportation?Teenagers who have jobs

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Get FREE English course via e-mail