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Integrated essay



 
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Integrated essay #1 (permalink) Sat Aug 21, 2010 19:29 pm   Integrated essay
 

The notion that DDT, a white crystalline compound is used as a pesticide has more negative effects on birds and animals as well as humans, has been refuted by recent studies.
According to the research conducted by Rachel Carson, there are several drawbacks of using the DDT. Firstly, the usage of DDT has declined the population of several species of birds such as bald eagle and peregrine falcon. However, the recent studies show that the decline in population of bald eagle is not linked with the usage of DDT because in 1960 after 15 years of the introduction of DDT population rate of bald eagles raised significantly.
Secondly, it is said that DDT has entailed birds to lay eggs with thin shells. This is not true because, even though the higher doses of this pesticide used in experiments, the shells are observed thinner in the wild than in the experiment results. Besides that thin shells can emerge due to oil spill, stress, noise and excitement rather than DDT usage.
Finally, it is argued that the usage of DDT increases the levels of liver and breast cancer in humans and the toxicity of this substance can linger in the environment and food chain for a long time. Nevertheless, professor noted that there is absolutely no link between cancer and DDT, but it can aid in recovering malaria.
So, recent studies show that abovementioned risks stated by Rachel Carson are not valid.

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Kleopatra
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Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 103

Integrated essay #2 (permalink) Sun Aug 22, 2010 3:07 am   Integrated essay
 

Kleopatra wrote:
The notion that DDT, a white crystalline compound used as a pesticide(,) has more negative effects on birds and animals as well as humans, has been refuted by recent studies.
According to the research conducted by Rachel Carson, there are several drawbacks of using the DDT. Firstly, the usage of DDT has declined the population of several species of birds such as bald eagle and peregrine falcon. However, the recent studies show that the decline in population of bald eagle is not linked with the usage of DDT because in 1960 after 15 years of the introduction of DDT(,) population rate of bald eagles raised significantly.
Secondly, it is said that DDT has entailed birds to lay eggs with thin shells. This is not true because, even though the higher dose of this pesticide is used in experiments, the shells are observed thinner in the wild than in the experiment results. Besides that thin shells can emerge due to oil spill, stress, noise(,) and excitement rather than DUE TO DDT usage.
Finally, it is argued that the usage of DDT increases the levels of liver and breast cancer in humans(,) and the toxicity of this substance can linger in the environment and food chain for a long time. Nevertheless, professor NOTES that there is absolutely no link between cancer and DDT, but it can aid in recovering malaria.
So, recent studies show that AFOREMENTIONED risks stated by Rachel Carson are not valid.
VERY GOOD ESSAY KLEOPATRA! A LITTLE BIT NEGLECT OF USING (,) COMMA:d
CA.

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Integrated essay #3 (permalink) Sun Aug 22, 2010 3:28 am   Integrated essay
 

The lecture casts doubt on the reading passage because the professor, in contrast to the reading passage, says that the usage of DDT, a white crystal-line compound used as a pesticide, is not harmful for animals and humans as the notion in the reading passage has said.

First, despite on the reading's claim, especially the research conducted by Rachel Carson arguing that there are several drawbacks of using the DDT such as declining many bird species' population: bald eagle and peregrine falcon, the professor says that DDT is not the culprit of this harm, since in 1960, after 15 years DDT had been introduced, bald eagle's population raised significantly.

Second, the professor rejects the reading's claim that DDT has caused thin shells in bird's eggs. He says that albeit the higher doses of this pesticide is used in experiments, the shells are observed thinner in the wild than in the experiment results. Furthermore, he says that thin shells can emerge due to oil spill, stress, noise, and excitement rather than due to DDT usage.

Finally, professor casts doubt on the reading' claim that the usage of DDT increases the levels of liver and breast cancer in human beings, and the toxicity of this substance can linger in the environment and foot chain for a long time. He says that there is absolutely no link between cancer and DDT, but it can aid in recovering malaria. (????)

CA.
_________________
Talent is the God given-Be Humble!
Fame is man given-Be thankful!
Conceit is self given-Be careful!
-John Wooden-
Coolapple
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 145
Location: Moon

Integrated essay #4 (permalink) Sun Aug 22, 2010 11:17 am   Integrated essay
 

Thanks very much Coolapple, but in general I had more mistakes but now it is fewer. Have I improved my writing ? :)
Can you evaluate this out of 10 please.
Regards.
Kleopatra
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 103

Integrated essay #5 (permalink) Mon Aug 23, 2010 4:25 am   Integrated essay
 

Honestly, I'm not a language Coach. I'm just a learner like you:)
CA. 9/10
_________________
Talent is the God given-Be Humble!
Fame is man given-Be thankful!
Conceit is self given-Be careful!
-John Wooden-
Coolapple
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 08 Aug 2010
Posts: 145
Location: Moon

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