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Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)



 
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Sample essay | Topic26: Which ways do you like?
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Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :) #1 (permalink) Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:28 am   Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)
 

People remember special gifts or presents they have received. Why?

If someone asks me about one of the most cheerful moments I have ever had up to this time, I would not hesitate to say that those were times when I received a gift from my beloved ones. Receiving a gift, for me, is not about its economic sense, but instead, it is all about its emotional meanings. On the other hand, giving a present to others is the easiest way to strike a chord in their hearts. Like most people, gifts or presents often engrave special senses in my mind because they help me relive beautiful moments in the past and remind me of special people in my life.

First of all, special gifts fill our lives with beautiful memories. Nice remembrances inspire us to live a strong and meaningful lives. When we look at the presents, we recall all the good times we have enjoyed with the offerers. When I saw off my older brother at the airport as he went to the United States for school, he handed over me a wristwatch and told me to study harder. Hence the wristwatch reminds me of my brother encouraging me to put my effort in learning to reach my goals. Similarly, every small gift given by my closest friend on my birthdays, I see it as the symbolic items for our enduring friendship. On these line, special gifts serve as the special glue to tie up companionship between people.

Furthermore, special gifts help us relive memorable moments in the past. Both happy and struggling times are unforgettable for every person. When we look at the past, there were plenty of memorable events that marked our lives’ turning points, so seeing our gifts functions as the best way to live through those moments again. For instance, at the graduation ceremony in my university, my parents sent me my favorite book attached by a small piece of letter, which wrote: “we are proud of you son”. Now, though being busy at work all time, looking at this book sometimes unchangeably brings me many thrilling feelings as those at the moment I received my bachelor certification.

Lastly, gifts help us show off our deep care toward others. Undoubtedly, when we give somebody a present with a sincere mind, we definitely are showing our love and care toward the recipients. We are filling their life with the fragrance of friendships and camaraderie. Giving just a simple but meaningful present to our beloved one is the shortest way to reach their hearts, helping them in creating a life inundated with vibrant, jubilant and cheerful memories.

In a word, needless to say, in our lives we are all eager to receive meaningful gifts from our beloved ones. Apart from the economic sense of a gift, its emotional meanings are the main reasons why people bear in their minds the intimate feelings they have received from others through time. Not only a special gift helps us relive our beautiful memories in the past, but also reminds us of our former significant emotional states. Gifts play a pivotal role in keeping people close together in life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an american literature class
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Todat
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 18 Jul 2011
Posts: 121
Location: Hanoi

Re: Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you on #2 (permalink) Sat Sep 22, 2012 3:33 am   Re: Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you on
 

Hi, this essay was excellent. Really no problems at all, it could serve as an excellent model of how to structure an essay and develop ideas fully. Only a few minor issues - most of them are suggestions though more than outright errors. I really think this deserves a 5 out of 5 - now where's my gift? ;)

Todat wrote:
People remember special gifts or presents they have received. Why?

If someone asks me about one of the most cheerful moments I have ever had up to this time, I would not hesitate to say that those were times {you switched from one time to many times here - stay consistent} when I received a gift from my beloved ones. Receiving a gift, for me, is not about its economic sense{"value" is better}, but instead, it is all about its emotional meanings. On the other hand, giving a present to others is the easiest way to strike a chord in their hearts. Like most people, gifts or presents often engrave special senses{"engrave" a "sense" sounds a bit odd - you can engrave a memory, but you feel a sense - maybe "engrave a special feeling" but that is still a bit off} in my mind because they help me relive beautiful moments in the past and remind me of special people in my life.

First of all, special gifts fill our lives with beautiful memories. Nice remembrances inspire us to live a strong and meaningful lives. When we look at the presents, we recall all the good times we have enjoyed with the offerers.{I don't think this is a word - maybe "sender" or "giver"} When I saw off my older brother at the airport as he went to the United States for school, he handed over [to] me a wristwatch and told me to study harder. Hence the wristwatch reminds me of my brother encouraging me to put my effort in learning to reach my goals. Similarly, every small gift given by my closest friend on my birthdays,{no comma} I see it as the symbolic items for{"of" is better} our enduring friendship. On these line,[Along these lines,] special gifts serve as the special glue to tie up companionship between people.

Furthermore, special gifts help us relive memorable moments in the past. Both happy and struggling times are unforgettable for every person. When we look at the past, there were plenty of memorable events that marked our lives’ turning points, so seeing our gifts functions as the best way to live through those moments again. For instance, at the graduation ceremony in my university, my parents sent me my favorite book attached [to which was a brief note]by a small piece of letter, which wrote[said][,] “[W]e are proud of you son”. Now, though being busy at work all [the] time, looking at this book sometimes unchangeably{"consistently" or "unfailingly" seem better} brings me many [of the same] thrilling feelings as those at the moment I received my bachelor certification.

Lastly, gifts help us show off our deep care toward others. Undoubtedly, when we give somebody a present with a sincere mind,{in English we would usually say a "sincere heart" - for some reason the mind doesn't seem sincere :) } we definitely are showing our love and care toward the recipients. We are filling their life with the fragrance of friendships and camaraderie. Giving just a simple but meaningful present to our beloved one is the shortest way to reach their hearts, helping them in creating a life inundated with vibrant, jubilant and cheerful memories.

In a word, needless to say, in our lives we are all eager to receive meaningful gifts from our beloved ones. Apart from the economic sense["worth" or "value] of a gift, its emotional meanings are the main reasons why people bear in their minds the intimate feelings they have received from others through time. Not only [does] a special gift helps[help] us relive our beautiful memories in[of] the past, but also reminds us of our former significant emotional states. Gifts play a pivotal role in keeping people close together in life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an american literature class
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8541
Location: Nashville TN, USA

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Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :) #3 (permalink) Sat Sep 22, 2012 3:46 am   Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)
 

Hi, Luschen, thank you very much for your compliments and I owe you for a gift from now :). By the way, I try to post an integrated essay here because it has no specific subject line to make it a post. I often follow this structure. Could you give me some comments on that. The lecture of this essay contains no point that contradicts to those of the reading passage

The reading is about irrigation which is defined as the artificial watering of land for agriculture, and provides some forms of irrigation and types of irrigation technology. In the lecture, the professor summons some of the main ideas made in the reading as well as strengthens them with additional information.

First, the reading says that there are various methods of surface irrigation that are used to deliver water to a field. The professor strengthens this point through some additional information about the efficiency of many forms of irrigation. She says that surface irrigation is poorly controlled and highly wasteful which cause it to be the least efficient method of irrigation. According to the professor, field flooding method, which is a form of surface irrigation, wastes a lot of water due to evaporation and passing down through soil while collects water to ponds on the field. This point is not mentioned in the reading.

Secondly, the reading points that in surface-pile irrigation, the water is piped to the field and distributed via sprinklers or smaller pipe. The professor reinforces this point by giving her opinions on this irrigation technology. According to her, sprinkle systems are more efficient than flooding and stand as one of the most water-saving ways of irrigation. She explains that sprinkle systems are good at distributing an even distribution of water and at watering crops accurately thanks to its new precision technology.

Lastly, the reading says that sprinkle system is a form of surface irrigation. The professor are verbally in line with this point by saying the same thing. Moreover, she adds that as a form of surface irrigation, the sprinkle system is still slightly wasteful of water to evaporation.
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Todat
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Posts: 121
Location: Hanoi

Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :) #4 (permalink) Sat Sep 22, 2012 4:02 am   Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)
 

Hi, I thought this was very good. Your structure is absolutely correct. You are right though in that I think the lecture always contradicts the reading on the real test. Here are some examples you might like to try - have you seen these? http://www.english-itutor.com/TOEFL_writing_mentor.html

Todat wrote:
Hi, Luschen, thank you very much for your compliments and I owe you for a gift from now :). By the way, I try to post an integrated essay here because it has no specific subject line to make it a post. I often follow this structure. Could you give me some comments on that. The lecture of this essay contains no point that contradicts to those of the reading passage

The reading is about irrigation which is defined as the artificial watering of land for agriculture, and provides some forms of irrigation and types of irrigation technology. In the lecture, the professor summons {"summons" sounds odd here} some of the main ideas made in the reading as well as strengthens them with additional information.

First, the reading says that there are various methods of surface irrigation that are used to deliver water to a field. The professor strengthens this point through some additional information about the efficiency of many forms of irrigation. She says that surface irrigation is poorly controlled and highly wasteful which cause it to be the least efficient method of irrigation. According to the professor, [the] field flooding method, which is a form of surface irrigation, wastes a lot of water due to evaporation and passing down through soil while collects water to ponds on the field.{this last clause is unclear to me} This point is not mentioned in the reading.

Secondly, the reading points that in surface-pile irrigation, the water is piped to the field and distributed via sprinklers or smaller pipe. The professor reinforces this point by giving her opinions on this irrigation technology. According to her, sprinkle systems are more efficient than flooding and stand as one of the most water-saving ways of irrigation. She explains that sprinkle systems are good at distributing an even distribution of water and at watering crops accurately thanks to its new precision technology.

Lastly, the reading says that sprinkle system is a form of surface irrigation. The professor are[is] verbally in line with this point by saying the same thing. Moreover, she adds that as a form of surface irrigation, the sprinkle system is still slightly wasteful of water to evaporation. {it is a bit unclear to me whether surface-pile and sprinkle systems are the same. There seem to be some contradictory statements from the lecture in these last two paragraphs.
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8541
Location: Nashville TN, USA

Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :) #5 (permalink) Sat Sep 22, 2012 4:09 am   Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)
 

Hi, yes. I also think that the lecture always contradicts the reading on the real test and it is easier to write an essay in the real test's form. Your link is really helpful, I somehow bookmarked it before. Thank you. Good night!
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Todat
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 18 Jul 2011
Posts: 121
Location: Hanoi

Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :) #6 (permalink) Sat Sep 22, 2012 17:43 pm   Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)
 

Hi Luschen, I just reread my essay and found this
luschen wrote:
For instance, at the graduation ceremony in my university, my parents sent me my favorite book attached [to which was a brief note]

I think it is an nice correction of you, however, I don't really understand this grammatical point (why it has 2 verbs in one sentence) though it sounds really natural. Could you give me some tips to understand and reuse it somehow :)
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STAYING POSITIVE ALWAYS
Todat
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 18 Jul 2011
Posts: 121
Location: Hanoi

Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :) #7 (permalink) Sat Sep 22, 2012 21:02 pm   Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)
 

Hi, the brief note was attached to the favorite book. You could rewrite my sentence in this order: "My parents sent me my favorite book, to which was attached a brief note." It is the same structure as "My parents sent me a brief note, which was attached to my favorite book." but the note was attached to the book, not vice versa, so in the first sentence we have to say "to which" to make this clear. In this particular sentence we can then change the order of the words to "attached to which was", meaning the same as "to which was attached". This is a pretty complex sentence construction though - usually changing the word order like this is not allowed.

Here are some examples:

"I have a house, the door of which is painted red." -> I have a house whose door is painted red

"I miss my friend, playing basketball with whom was my favorite activity." -> I miss my friend, with whom playing basketball was my favorite activity -> I miss my friend, who playing basketball with was my favorite activity. {this last one does not sound as good though}

"I showed her my treasure chest, the key to which I lost long ago." -> I showed her my treasure chest, whose key I lost long ago.
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8541
Location: Nashville TN, USA

Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :) #8 (permalink) Sun Sep 23, 2012 1:26 am   Why people remember special gifts they have received(I also wanna send you one :)
 

Oh, thank you, I get it now :)
_________________
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Todat
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 18 Jul 2011
Posts: 121
Location: Hanoi

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