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please grade my essay...



 
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Hello, Luschen. Could you evaluate my essay. I really appreciate it | It is better to spend money on traveling and vacations than to save money
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please grade my essay... #1 (permalink) Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:49 am   please grade my essay...
 

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom

Whether computers will replace teachers is a heated subject of much debate. Some people assert that with the technological advancements students have reinforced access to any kind of information. Moreover, they affirm that its is less time consumable for students to click on a few buttons to obtain the information they need. However, despite those arguments, as far as I am concerned, teachers can never be replaced by computers for several reasons.
To begin with, teachers play crucial role in the learning process. It is indisputable that true education consists of three main ingredients:hard-working students, involved parents and knowlegable teachers. There is no doubt that teachers direct students and help them to approach subjects rightly. Well-educated teachers provide guidance for students and help them to achieve their goals. Moreover, despite the fact that with the advent of the internet students access to any kind of information, most of infromation obtained in the internet are not valid. For example, while preparing for my Toefl exam I spent a lot of time dowloading essays and took them to my high school english teacher. She pointed out a lot of mistakes and adviced me not to rely on those resources. Since then if I used to approach my teacher if I had some questions.
In addition, teachers provide individual approach for students and help them to improve most of their skills. It is indubitable that teachers try to evaluate the abilities of the students, point out their weaknesses and hone their skills. In comparison, the resources one can get over the internet is massive and do not include individual approach. My own experience may shed some light on this point. As a lecturer, myself, I usually try to work differently with different students and therefore, apply different methods of dealing with them. For example, there are some students who are not free enough to speak out their opinion in front of the class. I usually try to create an open atmosphere for them to express their thoughs and ideas.
Finally, teachers encourage and motivate students to perform at an exceptional level and contribute everything they are capable of doing. There is no doubt that computers can never replace teachers as they are machines deprived of feelings and emotions. For example, my high school english teacher used to foster an environment that cultivated success and inspiration. She gave us an impetus to realize our full potential and pave our ways to success. She was very supportive and gave my courage to persist and withstand all the difficulties on my way. Thanks to her I was inspired to do my best and passed my entrance exams.
To sum up, despite the fact that computers play crucial role in our everyday life, they can never replace teachers. Teachers helps students not only gain knowledge but also make the learning process more effectively. Moreover, teachers support and encourage their students to contribute everything they are capable of doing.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the lecturer mention Charles Darwin?
Ani Khachatryan
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 20 Apr 2013
Posts: 122

Re: please grade my essay... #2 (permalink) Mon Sep 02, 2013 4:25 am   Re: please grade my essay...
 

Hi Ani, welcome back. Does this mean you didn't do as well as you hoped on the TOEFL, or are you just trying to keep in practice? I thought this one was excellent, just a few minor errors and typos. I don't think it would keep you from a 5 out of 5.

By the way, I saw this article on some website and thought of you - I am sure you probably already heard about this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/13/worlds-largest-chocolate-_n_714649.html

Have you been submitting my corrections to your English teacher? Any mistakes she was able to point out? I admit I am far from perfect!

Ani Khachatryan wrote:
As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom

Whether computers will replace teachers is a heated subject of much debate. Some people assert that with the technological advancements[,] students have reinforced access to any kind of information. Moreover, they affirm that its is less time consum[ing] for students to click on a few buttons to obtain the information they need. However, despite those arguments, as far as I am concerned, teachers can never be replaced by computers for several reasons.
To begin with, teachers play [a] crucial role in the learning process. It is indisputable that true education consists of three main ingredients:hard-working students, involved parents and knowlegable teachers. There is no doubt that teachers direct students and help them to approach subjects {"correctly" is better} rightly. Well-educated teachers provide guidance for students and help them to achieve their goals. Moreover, despite the fact that with the advent of the internet students [have] access to any kind of information, most of [the] infromation{sp} obtained in[from] the internet are[is] not valid. For example, while preparing for my Toefl exam I spent a lot of time dowloading{sp} essays and took them to my high school [ E]nglish teacher. She pointed out a lot of mistakes and adviced [advised] me not to rely on those resources. Since then if I used to [, I have] approach[ed] my teacher if I had some questions.
In addition, teachers provide individual approach[es] for students and help them to improve most of their skills. It is indubitable that teachers try to evaluate the abilities of the students, point out their weaknesses and hone their skills. In comparison, the resources one can get over the internet is [are] massive and do not include [an] individual approach. My own experience may shed some light on this point. As a lecturer,{no comma} myself, I usually try to work differently with different students and therefore,{no comma} apply different methods of dealing with them. For example, there are some students who are [do] not [feel] free enough to speak out their opinion in front of the class. I usually try to create an open atmosphere for them to express their though[ts ] and ideas.
Finally, teachers encourage and motivate students to perform at an exceptional level and contribute everything they are capable of doing. There is no doubt that computers can never replace teachers as they are machines deprived of feelings and emotions. For example, my high school [E]nglish teacher used to foster an environment that cultivated success and inspiration. She gave us an impetus to realize our full potential and pave our ways to success. She was very supportive and gave m[e ] courage to persist and withstand all the difficulties on my way. Thanks to her I was inspired to do my best and passed my entrance exams.
To sum up, despite the fact that computers play [a] crucial role in our everyday life, they can never replace teachers. Teachers helps students not only gain knowledge but also make the learning process more effectively.{adjective describing process} Moreover, teachers support and encourage their students to contribute everything they are capable of doing.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the lecturer mention Charles Darwin?
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8541
Location: Nashville TN, USA

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please grade my essay... #3 (permalink) Tue Sep 03, 2013 4:17 am   please grade my essay...
 

Hello, Mr Luschen, you got it wrong, I didnt come to the forum as I was pretty busy. I havent taken my toefl test yet. I am going to take it on the 14 of September (but it is not confirmed yet). So I hope after taking it I will not have to prepar for toefl again...I am happy to know that you are interested to learn more about Armenians...By the way I dont show my high school english teacher your corrections, as she will definitely find one :D...
Ani Khachatryan
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 20 Apr 2013
Posts: 122

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